OPULAR 
ECTURE 


V 


tihv<{vy  of  Che  theological  ^tminaxy 

PRINCETON  •  NEW  JERSEY 


PRESENTED  BY 

The  Estate  of  the 

Pew  -  JT^W-^  -D   Ui  ^j^— — 

BV  3797  .J85  P66  1909 
Jones,  Sam  P.  1847-1906 
Popular  lectures  of  Sam 
Jones 


/ 


s3J 


POPULAR   LECTURES  OF  \ 

SAM  P.  JONES  I 


Stories,  Lectures,  Sermons 
By  Sam  Jones 


Sam  Jones'  Revival  Sermons. 

Compiled  by   his  daughter,   Annie 
Jones  Pyron.    i2mo,  cloth,  net  $i.oo 

These  selected  sermons  by  the  famous  evan- 
gelist have  a  heart  quality  that  enforces  their 
messages  of  love  and  sympathy  even  divorced  as 
they  are  from  the  voice  of  that  master  pleader 
for  the  souls  of  men.  The  depth  of  feeling  with 
vk^hich  Sam  Jones  presented  gospel  truths  illu- 
minates every  page.  His  illustrations  are  re- 
markable for  their  homely  qualities  and  for  their 
practical  application. 

Famous  Stories  of  Sam  Jones. 
Edited  by  George  R.  Stuart. 

i2mo,  cloth,  net  i.oo 
"In  his  revival  work,  Sam  Jones  presented  the 
truths  of  the  Gospel  in  epigram  and  story.  They 
are  all  very  striking,  very  entertaining,  too,  and 
withal  deeply  convincing.  The  book  cannot  fail 
to  stir  the  heart."— Christian  Intelligencer. 

Popular  Lectures  of  Sam  Jones. 
Edited  by  Walt  Holcomb. 

i2nio,  cloth,  net  .75 
"Sam  Jones  was  a  marvelous  compound.  His 
lectures  and  sermons  as  given  in  this  little  vol- 
ume are  just  as  he  delivered  them.  Sharp,  satiri- 
cal, bitter,  it  is  certain  that  he  hated  the  devil  and 
all  his  works.  He  touched  the  hearts  of  people 
and  did  good,  and  his  addresses  hold  the  attention 
till  the  last  word  has  been  read." 

—Herald  and  Presbyter. 


POPULAR  LECTU 


OF 


SAM  p.  JONES 


Edited  by 
WALT  HOLCOMB 


New  York        Chicago        Toronto 

Fleming   H.   Revell  Company 

London       and        Edinburgh 


Copyright,  1909,  by 
FLEMING  H.  REVELL  COMPANY 


New  York:  158  Fifth  Avenue 
Chicago:  125  No.  Wabash  Ave. 
Toronto:  25  Richmond  Street,  W. 
London:  21  Paternoster  Square 
Edinburgh:     100    Princes    Street 


\ 


CONTENTS 

PAGE 

I.    A   Medley   op   Philosophy^  Facts,, 

AND   Fun 9 

II.    The    World    as    It    Is    and    the 

World  as  It  Ought  to  Be    .       .     36 

III.  Character   and   Characters    .       .     60 

IV.  Manhood  and  Money  .       .       .       ,77 

V.  Ravages  of  Rum 87 

VI.  Get  There  and  Stay  There    .       .  110 


INTRODUCTORY 

In  response  to  requests  from  different 
parts  of  the  country,  we  have  gathered  to- 
gether The  Popular  Lectures  of  the  late 
Reverend  Sam  P.  Jones.  These  were  de- 
livered from  almost  every  lyceum  and  Chau- 
tauqua platform  throughout  the  United 
States  and  Canada. 

Some  of  these  lectures  were  dictated  by 
Mr.  Jones  just  before  his  death,  others  were 
reported  by  competent  stenographers;  all 
have  been  carefully  edited  and  arranged, 
and  preserve  the  style  in  which  they  were 
spoken. 

Believing  that  these  lectures  will  prove 
the  most  popular  of  his  many  helpful  mes- 
sages, we  send  them  forth  with  a  prayer  that 
they  may  make  the  world  brighter  and 
better. 

Very  sincerely  yours, 

Walt  Holcomb^ 

Nashville,  Tenn. 


POPULAR  LECTURES  OF 
SAM  R  JONES 


A  MEDLEY  OF  PHILOSOPHY,  FACTS, 
AND  FUN 

PHILOSOPHY  furnishes  to  us  the 
rules  by  which  we  do  the  best  pos- 
sible thing,  in  the  best  possible  way, 
at  the  best  possible  time.  The  man  who 
knows  just  what  to  do,  and  when  to  do,  and 
then  how  to  do  the  best  thing  to  be  done, 
is  a  philosopher !  Of  course,  that  sort  of  a 
fellow  would  feel  lonesome  in  a  crowd. 
That  was  a  description  of  a  philosopher. 

And  then  when  we  come  to  think  about 
facts,  they  are  the  most  tremendous,  far- 
reaching  things  in  all  the  world.  A  fact  is 
a  very  different  thing  from  a  theory.  Now, 
in  my  younger  days  I  had  my  theories,  and 
championed  my  theories,  and  was  ready  to 
die  by  them.  Keally,  when  I  was  twenty- 
one  years  of  age  I  was  very  intelligent.  I 
9 


10  POPULAR  LECTURES  of  SAM  P.  JONES 

looked  upon  Daniel  Webster  as  an  idiot; 
and  if  Solomon  had  come  along  I  would 
have  put  him  in  the  asylum.  But  I  am  just 
getting  old  enough  now  to  see  what  a  fool 
I  was.  Why,  a  fellow  oughtn't  to  be  al- 
lowed to  go  about  by  himself  until  he  is 
thirty  years  old;  a  WOMAN,  Never. 

I  have  been  a  young  fool,  I  am  free  to 
admit  that;  I  have  been  a  middle-aged  fool, 
and  I  am  sorry  about  that,  and  I  am  pray- 
ing so  earnestly  now  that  the  Lord  will  just 
keep  me  from  being  an  old  fool.  You  see 
that  is  the  last  wag  of  the  hammer.  You 
take  an  old  widower,  for  instance.  I  was 
sitting  in  a  car  some  time  ago,  and  an  old 
widower  walked  in.  I  suppose  he  was  eighty 
years  old,  his  nose  and  chin  nearly  met. 
He  took  a  seat  near  me  and  began  to  brag 
of  his  health.  He  said  he  hadn't  felt  better 
in  forty  years,  and  he  said,  "  They  tease  me 
about  marrying  again,  and  I  don't  know 
but  that  I  will."  I  suspect  the  old  rascal 
had  rubbed  every  joint  of  his  limbs  with 
Wizard  Oil  before  he  could  get  out  of  bed 
that  morning. 

I  am  growing  older;  I  am  a  sort  of 
patriarch  now,  I  have  had  my  silver  wed- 
ding, and  that  was  a  big  time  at  our  house. 
That  was  the  night  they  got  the  swallow-tail 


PHILOSOPHY,  FACTS,  AND  FUN      11 

coat  on  me,  and  tliey  laughed  at  me.  I  told 
them  I  had  never  had  one  on  before,  and  I 
got  that  on  mostly  behind.  I  shook  hands 
with  myself  seven  times  that  night.  That 
was  a  big  occasion.  I  have  grandchildren 
playing  about  my  home,  and  the  time  has 
come  with  me,  if  ever,  when  I  ought  to  begin 
to  stay  by  the  facts.  Theories  furnish  the 
basis  for  a  young  fellow  to  operate  upon. 
But  wisdom  and  age  stay  by  the  facts.  I 
used  to  love  to  sit  down  and  read  articles  on 
agriculture,  but  I  wouldn't  give  ten  cents 
a  dozen  for  them  to-day.  Now  I  love  to  walk 
with  a  good  old  farmer  through  his  magnifi- 
cent, growing  crops,  look  at  his  fat  cattle, 
hogs,  and  horses,  and  see  his  full  granaries 
and  cribs.  There  is  something  charming 
about  that  to  me. 

I  do  not  want  a  preacher  now,  to  stand  up 
and  talk  theology  and  ecclesiasticism  to  me. 
I  always  did  despise  theology  and  botany, 
but  I  do  love  religion  and  flowers.  There  is 
something  about  them  that  is  fragrant  and 
wholesome.  I  do  not  want  a  doctor  now,  to 
talk  hygiene,  anatomy,  and  physiology  to 
me.  Let  him  take  me  out  to  the  cemetery, 
and  show  me  w^hat  he  has  done.  It  is  the 
practical  fellow;  it  is  the  fellow  w^ho  has 
done  something.     That  is  my  style  of  man. 


12   POPULAR  LECTURES  of  SAM  P.  JONES 

I  have  reached  the  point  in  my  life  now, 
where  I  wouldn't  give  one  well-substan- 
tiated fact  for  all  the  theories  in  this  world. 

I  can  argue  down  a  fellow's  theories,  and 
clean  up  his  rhetoric,  but  when  I  meet  a 
fact,  I  go  to  sitting  up  with  it,  and  my  chil- 
dren will  have  to  sit  up  with  it  after  I  am 
gone.  You  can't  get  over  a  fact,  nor  around 
it,  nor  under  it,  nor  through  it.  You  have 
to  pitch  your  tent  and  camp  when  you  meet 
a  fact;  and  the  biggest  fool  in  the  United 
States,  and  that  is  saying  a  heap,  is  the  fel- 
low who  will  stand  up  and  argue  against 
a  fact.  Of  course,  most  of  you  fellows  will 
not  do  it,  but  I  am  speaking  to  those  who 
will. 

I  was  talking  out  West,  some  time  ago, 
and  I  said :  "  Prosperity  has  come  again. 
The  clearing-house  receipts,  the  railroad 
earnings,  the  marts  of  trade,  and  the  wheels 
of  commerce  roll  higher  than  at  any  time  in 
the  history  of  America.  Prosperity  has 
come  again !  '^  A  good  old  Silver  Loon,  in 
the  audience,  stood  up  and  said,  "  It  hain't 
hit  me  yit,"  and  I  said,  "  Neighbor,  it's 
mighty  hard  to  hit  nothing." 

He  was  a  fellow  who  would  argue  against 
a  fact.  And  if  you  Free-silver  men,  who 
listen  to  me  now,  if  you  will  look  back  a 


PHILOSOPHY,  FACTS,  AND  FUN      13 

few  years  ago,  and  see  how  you  were  tearing 
your  shirts,  and  talking  yourselves  hoarse  on 
Free  silver,  if  you  don't  feel  like  a  fool,  now, 
you  don't  feel  natural,  that's  all. 

I  may  stop  long  enough  here  to  illustrate 
what  I  mean  by  theories  and  facts;  for  in- 
stance, in  the  church  world,  we  Methodists 
and  Baptists  differ  on  our  theories  of  bap- 
tism. The  Methodist  theory  is  to  pour  the 
water  on  the  kid  when  it  is  little,  and  the 
Baptist  theory  is  to  wait  'till  he  is  about 
grown,  and  then  souse  him  clear  under. 
Those  are  the  two  theories,  practically 
stated.  Let  us  go  behind  these  theories  and 
look  at  some  facts.  I  know  a  fellow  who  was 
baptised  in  infancy  by  a  Methodist  preacher, 
and  he  poured  the  water  on  him.  He  grew 
up,  joined  the  Methodist  church,  and  he  is 
one  of  the  best  men  to-day  that  I  have  ever 
seen.  I  know  another  fellow  who  professed 
conversion  after  he  was  grown,  joined  the 
Baptist  church,  and  the  Baptist  preacher 
immersed  him.  That  same  fellow  is  one  of 
the  best  men  who  walk  the  American  conti- 
nent. 

I  know  another  fellow  who  was  baptised 
in  infancy  by  a  Methodist  preacher,  who 
poured  the  water  on  him.  He  grew  up  and 
joined  the  Methodist  church,  and  he  is  in 


14  POPULAR  LECTURES  of  SAM  P.  JONES 

the  penitentiary  now,  serving  out  his  sen- 
tence. I  know  another  fellow  who  professed 
conversion  after  he  was  grown,  joined  the 
Baptist  church,  and  the  Baptist  preacher 
immersed  him  clear  under;  they  hung  him! 
Absolutely  hung  him. 

I  never  ask  a  fellow  what  church  he  be- 
longs to ;  I  ask  him,  are  you  a  good  husband 
to  your  wife,  a  good  father  to  your  children, 
and  a  good  citizen  in  your  community;  do 
you  pay  your  debts,  tell  the  truth,  and  live 
right?  If  he  says  "  Yes,"  I  say,  "  Give  me 
your  hand."  If  he  says  "  No,"  I  say,  "  Fix 
for  my  foot."  I  give  one  of  them  the  right- 
hand  of  fellowship,  and  the  other  the  right- 
hand  of  footship.  I  think  that  is  the  best 
practical  settlement  of  the  whole  question. 

Fun  is  the  next  best  thing  to  religion.  The 
best  thing  in  this  old  sin-cursed  earth  is  good 
old-fashioned  Bible  religion.  Of  course, 
you  people  here  know  nothing  about  it,  but 
there  is  such  a  thing  in  the  world  as  good 
old-fashioned  religion.  But  we  are  rele- 
gating that  to  the  rear.  Theosophy,  Occult- 
ism, Christian  Science,  and  Spiritualism  are 
catching  people  by  the  thousand,  and  you 
good  people  are  following  after  these  things. 
The  devil  will  get  the  most  of  you,  but 
thank  God,  he  won't  get  much.    That  is  one 


PHILOSOPHY,  FACTS,  AND  FUN      15 

consolation.  Christian  Science  starts  out 
with  a  monumental  lie :  "  No  such  thing  as 
pain ! ''  I  know  that's  a  lie,  for  I  have  sat 
up  with  it  all  night.  "  If  you  have  the  tooth- 
ache, and  will  get  the  thought  that  you 
haven't  got  it,  and  will  hold  the  thought, 
then  you  haven't  got  it."  I  suppose  then, 
that  if  a  married  man  gets  the  thought  that 
he  has  no  wife  and  holds  the  thought,  then 
he  is  an  old  bachelor?  I  suspect  some  of 
you  wish  you  were.  Like  the  fellow  who 
said,  when  he  first  married,  he  just  felt  all 
the  time  like  he  wanted  to  eat  his  wife  up, 
but  he  said,  in  about  a  week,  "  I  lost  my  ap- 
petite." 

I  repeat  it.  Christian  Science  catches 
them  by  the  thousand,  but  they  are  mostly 
women.  Anything  will  catch  a  woman.  If 
you  are  a  Christian  Scientist  that  is  no  sign 
that  you  are  not  good;  but  your  trouble  is 
above  your  eyes.  There  is  one  consolation 
in  being  a  Christian  Scientist;  if  you  ever 
get  in  the  water  over  your  head  you  need 
not  be  scared,  for  your  head  will  swim 
all  right.  Just  lift  your  handkerchief  for 
a  sail,  and  you  will  come  in  with  the  first  fa- 
vourable breeze.  And  Spiritualism  is  catch- 
ing them  by  the  thousand.  Like  the  spirit- 
ualist orator,  who  had  his  great  crowd  be- 


16  POPULAR  LECTURES  of  SAM  P.  JONES 

fore  him,  and  who  was  carrying  them  by 
storm.  Directly  he  said,  "  Now,  ladies  and 
gentlemen,  I  announce  the  most  marvellous 
phenomenon  in  the  spiritual  world.  When 
you  live  and  dwell  in  spiritualism,  every- 
thing becomes  real,  and  you  can  handle  a 
ghost  like  you  can  handle  a  man.''  At  that 
time  a  little,  red-haired,  squint-eyed  man 
down  in  the  audience  said  "  Amen."  The 
orator  said,  "  Ladies  and  gentlemen,  there  is 
a  witness  to  this  wonderful  phenomenon. 
Come  right  up  here  and  bear  testimony." 
The  fellow  came  up  to  the  stand.  ''  Now," 
said  the  orator,  "  give  them  the  facts  on  this 
proposition."  "  What  is  your  proposition?  " 
"  That  when  you  live  and  dwell  in  spirit- 
ualism, everything  becomes  real,  and  you 
can  handle  a  ghost  just  like  you  can  handle 
a  man."  "  Oh,  the  devil,"  said  the  man,  "  I 
thought  you  said  a  GOAT." 

Whenever  you  tackle  spiritualism,  there 
is  a  goat  in  there,  and  he  is  after  you,  too. 
You  can  all  run  after  new  tricks  and  new 
isms,  if  you  care  to ;  but  here  is  one  fellow 
that's  going  to  stay  by  the  God  of  his 
fathers,  and  the  church  of  his  mother.  I  am 
not  going  to  run  after  your  new  tricks,  I 
won't  do  it.  And  I  repeat  it,  the  best  thing 
on  earth  is  good  old-fashioned  Bible  reli- 


PHILOSOPHY,  FACTS,  AND  FUN      17 

gion;  and  just  as  we  drift  away  from  that, 
we  are  drifting  downward,  and  hellward. 

Anybody  with  a  heart  in  him  loves  fun. 
A  man  who  does  not  love  fun  is  abnormal. 
He  isn't  all  right;  there  is  a  part  of  him 
missing. 

Josh  Billings,  Mark  Twain,  Bill  Nye,  they 
are  benefactors  of  the  world.  We  have  real- 
ised long  ago  that  Job  told  an  universal 
truth  when  he  said,  "  Man  is  born  unto 
trouble  as  the  sparks  fly  upward."  Every 
human  heart  in  this  world  is  loaded,  and 
every  laugh  of  your  life  is  a  leverage  under 
a  burden,  lifting  it  up  and  giving  you  a 
moment  of  surcease  and  rest.  We  need  to 
laugh  more. 

Anybody  with  a  soul  loves  to  laugh.  That 
is  one  reason  why  I  despise  "  sassiety,"  so 
called ;  the  most  heartless  creature  in  God's 
world  is  a  full-fledged  society  woman.  I  have 
met  a  few  of  them,  been  introduced  to  them, 
and  they  would  push  out  a  little,  old, 
straight-kid-gloved  hand  at  me,  and  I  would 
shake  the  thing,  and  I  would  just  as  soon 
shake  the  tail  of  a  dead  fish.  No  heart,  no 
life,  and  no  warmth.  A  society  woman  looks 
upon  the  introduction  of  a  baby  in  the  home 
as  a  nuisance,  and  a  big  family  of  children 
as  a  thing  to  be  despised.    I  keep  telling  you 


18  POPULAR  LECTURES  of  SAM  P.  JONES 

when  God  Almighty  gives  a  man  a  good  wife 
and  ten  or  fifteen  children,  He  has  done  a 
heap  for  that  fellow.  When  the  devil  gives 
him  a  society  woman  and  a  poodle  dog,  he 
just  threw  off  on  him. 

I  repeat  it,  anybody  with  a  heart  loves 
fun,  but  these  foolish,  flippant,  society 
people: — if  I  had  married  a  society  woman 
and  gone  home  some  day  and  didn't  see  her 
around,  I  wouldn't  ask,  "  Where  is  my 
wife?"  I  would  just  ask,  "Where  is  it?" 
Frill  and  flounce  and  dance.  I  have  no  ob- 
jection to  dancing  for  some  people.  I  rather 
advocate  it.  If  I  had  a  daughter  that  wore 
a  number  four  hat  and  a  number  seven  shoe, 
I  would  send  her  to  a  dancing  school,  and 
train  the  big  end  of  the  thing.  But  if  I  had 
a  bright,  sweet,  intelligent  girl,  I  would  as 
deliberately  take  her  up  in  my  arms  and  toss 
her  into  perdition  as  I  would  pick  her  up 
and  project  her  into  the  average  ballroom 
life  of  this  country. 

Fun,  nothing  like  it  in  all  the  world! 
That  is  one  reason  why  I  like  the  Irish. 
They  are  full  of  fun,  and  I  thank  God  that 
I  have  a  streak  of  Irish  blood  in  me,  and  I 
thank  God  that  there  isn't  any  more  than 
there  is.  Pat  will  get  fun  out  of  anything. 
Some  temperance  people  were  talking  on  the 


PHILOSOPHY,  FACTS,  AND  FUN      19 

street.  Pat  came  up  and  said,  "  Gintlemen, 
ye  kin  talk  agin  likker  and  abuse  likker,  but 
it's  the  best  eyesight  medicine  I  iver  seed 
and  tried  yit.  There's  me  brother  Moike, 
born  blind,  and  niver  seed  a  thing;  he  jist 
drank  whiskey  a  week,  and  the  divel  may 
kill  me,  if  he  didn't  see  snakes  all  over  the 
house.  And  nothin'  iver  helped  his  eyesight 
but  whiskey."  There  is  many  a  poor  fel- 
low in  America  treating  his  eyes  with  it.  I 
suspect  this  country  uses  more  eyesight 
medicine,  of  that  kind,  than  almost  any 
country  in  the  world. 

You  can't  cure  them  from  drinking,  either. 
They  won't  be  cured.  They  won't  take  the 
medicine.  Like  the  old  darkey  that  went  to 
a  doctor.  He  said,  "  I  have  come  to  you 
about  my  mule;  he  is  sick,  and  is  going  to 
die,  it  looks  like,  and  I  can't  get  another. 
Doctor,  can't  you  give  me  something  for  my 
mule?"  The  doctor  said,  "Yes,  I'll  help 
you.  Uncle,  in  your  trouble;  here  is  some 
calomel.  Go  home  and  put  this  calomel  in  a 
big  cane  joint,  and  put  the  joint  in  the 
mule's  mouth,  and  blow.  He  will  take  it  up, 
and  I  think  it  will  help  him."  "  Yes,  Boss, 
I'se  gwine  follow  your  directions."  He  went 
home,  and  the  next  day  he  sent  for  the  doc- 
tor.   The  doctor  came  and  the  old  darkey 


20  POPULAR  LECTURES  of  SAM  P.  JONES 

was  piled  up  in  bed,  nearly  dead.  The  doc- 
tor said,  "  I  thought  it  was  your  mule  that 
was  sick,  and  here  you  are  in  bed."  "  Hit 
shorely  was  de  mule,  doctor,  but  hit's  me 
now."  ^^ What's  the  matter  with  you?" 
"  Hit  was  dat  calomel,  doctor."  "  You  fool, 
I  told  you  to  give  it  to  the  mule."  "  Well,  I 
did  try  to,  doctor,  but  you  see  hit  was  disser 
w^ay,  dat  ar  mule  blowed  fust." 

Whenever  you  go  to  treating  an  American 
for  drinking,  he  will  blow  first  on  you  every 
time. 

Fun,  nothing  like  it  in  all  the  world.  Pat 
loved  fun  in  any  stage  in  life.  The  doctor 
had  just  told  him  that  he  would  pass  away 
before  night.  He  was  very  low,  and  after 
the  doctor  left,  he  called  his  faithful  wife  to 
the  side  of  his  bed,  and  said,  "  Bridget,  I 
want  you  to  make  me  a  promise.  I  want 
you  upon  your  soul  never  to  go  back  on 
that  promise."  She  said,  "What  is  it?" 
"  I  want  you  to  promise  me  that  when  I  am 
dead,  you  will  see,  with  your  own  eyes,  that 
I  am  buried  right  under  the  Jewish  Syna- 
gogue." Bridget  said,  "  You  are  losing  your 
mind,  now."  "  My  mind  was  never  better," 
said  Pat.  "  Well,"  she  said,  "  what  on  earth 
do  you  want  to  be  buried  under  a  Jewish 
Synagogue  for?  "    "  Begorry,  that's  the  last 


PHILOSOPHY,  FACTS,  AND  FUN      21 

place  that  the  devil  would  ever  look  for  an 
Irishman/' 

Fat  people  like  fun.  Fat  people  are  the 
best-natured  people  in  the  world  if  you  will 
feed  them.  Like  the  big,  fat,  old  sister,  who 
sat  down  in  the  dentist^s  chair,  filled  it  up 
and  run  it  over.  The  dentist  looked  at  her 
and  said,  "  You  seem  to  be  cheerful, 
madam."  "  I  was  always  cheerful,  and  I 
like  folks  who  are  cheerful,  whether  they 
are  chairfull,  or  not." 

Like  the  big,  old,  fat  sister,  who  came  in- 
to the  train,  when  it  stopped  at  a  station; 
she  looked  like  a  Muscovy  duck.  She 
waltzed  up  and  down  the  aisle;  every  seat 
was  taken,  and  the  thing  got  to  be  painful. 
Directly  Pat  arose  on  the  scene  and  said, 
"  Gintlemen,  begorry,  I  will  be  one  of  any 
two  of  ye  who  will  git  up  and  give  the  lady 
a  seat." 

Fun,  nothing  like  it.  "  Now,  we  are  to  get 
a  '  medley,'  "  as  the  old  woman  said.  Med- 
ley means  mixture,  and  we  will  mix  it  in 
due  proportions,  not  asking  any  of  you  to 
agree  with  me  on  any  proposition.  When  a 
majority  of  this  country  agrees  with  me  I 
am  going  to  change  my  views.  I  know 
that  I  am  wrong  then.  If  a  fellow  will 
agree  with  the  majority  of  people,  and  stick 


22   POPULAR  LECTURES  of  SAM  P.  JONES 

with  them  until  he  dies,  if  he  don't  go  to 
hell  it  will  be  because  the  shebang  burned 
out  before  he  got  there.    That  is  no  joke. 

I  never  ask  a  crowd  to  agree  with  me; 
I  just  ask  them,  "  Did  you  understand  me?  " 
I  make  everything  so  plain  that  if  a  fellow 
don't  understand  me,  he  is  all  right  anyhow, 
because  God  has  made  especial  provision 
for  idiots  and  children.  You  will  get  in 
with  that  bunch. 

Now  I  want  to  say  that  every  phase  of 
American  life  seems  to  have  turned  its  back 
upon  the  great  facts  of  God's  world,  and  is 
chasing  false  theories  around  in  every  phase 
of  life.  You  step  into  the  political  world, 
and  a  man  ought  never  to  mention  politics 
without  an  apology.  It  isn't  politics  now,  it 
is  just  plain  ticks.  Just  something  to  hang 
on  and  fill  up.  You  may  catch  all  your  old 
politicians  and  run  them  into  a  great  plate- 
glass  place,  and  shut  them  up,  and  the  devil 
will  come  along  in  the  morning  and  peep  in 
on  them,  and  walk  off  shaking  his  head.  He 
will  say,  "  That  is  ahead  of  anything  I  have 
got.  I  have  nothing  that  will  keep  up  with 
that  bunch." 

I  really  believe  there  is  where  the  biggest 
difference  is.  You  take  the  two  last  na- 
tional campaigns;  they  were  projected  and 


PHILOSOPHY,  FACTS,  AND  FUN      23 

run  on  false  theories.  The  Eepublican 
Party  came  along  one  day  and  told  us  that 
the  maintenance  of  our  honor,  and  the  per- 
petuity of  our  institutions,  depended  upon 
the  single  gold  standard.  Bryan  came  along 
and  told  the  dear  people  that  the  monu- 
mental crime  of  1873  was  to  demonetise 
silver,  and  precipitate  a  panic  in  our  coun- 
try, and  that  there  would  never  be  prosper- 
ity until  we  got  the  free  and  unlimited 
coinage  of  silver,  at  sixteen  to  one ;  and  both 
of  them  were  lying  like  a  trotting  dog.  But 
I  say  to  you,  in  the  fear  of  God,  that  the 
peace  and  prosperity  in  this  country  do 
not  depend  upon  the  single  gold  standard, 
nor  the  free  and  unlimited  coinage  of  silver, 
but  they  depend  alone  upon  the  honesty,  in- 
tegrity, uprightness,  sobriety,  and  industry 
of  this  great  American  people,  and  nothing 
else  that  the  sun  shines  upon. 

I  am  sorry  for  the  Democrats;  you  need 
a  guardian.  Amid  the  wild  debauchery  and 
crimes  of  the  Eepublican  Party,  the  Demo- 
crats to-day  stand  back  without  a  leader, 
and  without  an  issue.  My,  my,  I  am  sorry 
for  them!  I  think  they  ought  to  join  the 
Christian  Scientists.  The  only  man  who 
ever  led  you  to  victory  since  the  war  be- 
tween the  States,  and  carried  you  to  victory 


24  POPULAR  LECTURES  of  SAM  P.  JONES 

twice,  has  never  changed  his  policies  or 
principles  one  iota  from  start  to  finish ;  you 
turn  your  back  on  him,  and  kick  him  and 
curse  him  from  Maine  to  California,  and 
then  take  after  another  fellow  who  has  lead 
you  to  inglorious  defeat  twice,  and  you  are 
still  whooping  for  him.  I  don't  understand 
it.  And  you  stole  the  last  plank  the  old 
Populists  had  in  their  platform  and  left 
them  sitting  on  the  ground.  They  aint  had 
anything  since. 

Oh!  When  the  Democratic  Party,  which 
is  the  people's  party  of  this  country,  when 
you  throw  every  rotten  Populist  plank  out 
of  your  platform,  and  get  back  on  a  Jeffer- 
sonian  and  Old  Hickory  Jackson  platform, 
and  stay  there,  you  will  sweep  this  country 
for  Democracy,  and  hold  your  own ;  but  you 
will  never  do  it  until  then. 

I  am  sorry  for  you.    You  need  sympathy. 

And  I  don't  want  to  make  any  of  you  old 
politicians  mad,  because  we  can't  fight.  I 
wouldn't  fight  you  at  all.  I  am  like  the 
'possum  felt  toward  the  skunk.  He  said  he 
wasn't  afraid  of  the  skunk,  but  he  knew  if 
he  "fit"  it  he  couldn't  go  home  to  his 
family. 

The  greatest  enemy  to  American  life  to- 
day, and  the  very  influence  that  is  going  to 


PHILOSOPHY,  FACTS,  AND  FUN      25 

destroy  our  free  institutions^  is  the  dirty  old 
demagogues  of  America,  in  the  politics  of 
the  country.  I  have  a  thousand  times  more 
fear  of  them  than  I  have  of  every  other  in- 
fluence that  is  preying  upon  the  liberties  of 
America.  Old  demagogues.  Old  demijohns. 
Why,  if  they  were  all  to  die  to-night,  and  the 
devil  were  to  peep  through  his  keyhole  and 
see  them  coming,  he  would  shut  up  shop. 
Why,  if  the  whole  gang  got  into  hell  to- 
gether in  a  bunch,  they  would  call  a  caucus, 
knock  the  devil  in  the  head,  elect  their  own 
devil,  and  run  the  place  to  suit  themselves. 

You  don't  have  any  trouble  understanding 
me,  do  you? 

Again;  you  step  into  the  church  world, 
and  it  is  all  agog  and  awry  there.  The  most 
painful  fact  to  my  mind  and  heart  is  the 
loose  grip  that  the  church  has  upon  the  God 
of  the  universe.  How  sad  that  phase  is  to 
me !  We  have  been  clamouring  for  fifty  years 
for  an  educated  ministry,  and  we  have  got  it 
to-day,  and  the  church  is  deader  than  it  ever 
has  been  in  its  history.  Half  of  the  literary 
preachers  in  this  town  are  A.B.'s,  Ph.D.'s, 
D.D.'s,  LL.D.'s,  and  A.S.S.'s.  And  when 
you  find  a  fellow  with  a  whole  alphabet  on 
him,  you  can  turn  him  out.  Half  of  them 
will  read  a  sermon  from  a  manuscript,  and  I 


26   POPULAR  LECTURES  of  SAM  P.  JONES 

would  rather  a  fellow  would  pull  a  pistol 
on  me  than  a  manuscript.  What  does  a 
preacher  want  with  a  manuscript? 

Every  year  down  in  my  town  we  have  our 
tabernacle  meetings.  We  invite  the  best 
preachers  on  this  continent,  and  they  come. 
One  year  I  invited  the  pastor  of  a  great 
church  in  Cincinnati,  and  he  came,  and  he 
spoke  on  Sunday  morning.  He  pulled  out  a 
forty-page  manuscript  and  stood  there  and 
read  the  gospel  for  a  whole  hour,  and  those 
good  country  people  never  saw  it  done  be- 
fore, and  when  they  adjourned  for  dinner 
they  got  under  the  trees  and  talked  about 
the  proceedings.  They  said,  "  What  do  you 
think  of  that  letter  from  Cincinnati?  "  And 
I  never  see  a  fellow  pull  his  manuscript 
now  that  I  don't  wonder  where  that  letter  is 
from. 

Now  what  I  want  is  a  fellow  with  sense 
enough  and  religion  enough  to  preach  the 
gospel  of  Jesus  Christ  with  a  warm  heart 
and  an  honest  mind  to  a  lost  and  ruined 
world;  and  I  never  saw  a  fellow  in  my  life 
who  was  converted  under  a  read  sermon; 
and  if  I  had  been  I  wouldn't  tell  it.  I  would 
hate  to  admit  that  I  was  that  soft  a  fellow 
to  have  been  converted  that  way. 

Then  you  dear  old  brethren  in  the  church, 


PHILOSOPHY,  FACTS,  AND  FUN      Tt 

you  are  not  doing  your  duty.  You  will  pack 
your  preacher  in  an  icebox  and  cuss  all  the 
year  because  he  don't  sweat.  He  can't  get 
up  a  sweat.  It's  too  cold.  I  am  sorry  for 
the  preachers.  They  are  doing  the  best  they 
can  with  the  gang  they've  got.  You  dear  old 
deacons  and  stewards,  you  just  sit  around 
there  and  don't  give  him  the  proper  encour- 
agement. When  you  wake  up,  and  get  up, 
the  seats  of  your  pants  look  like  the  map  of 
the  United  States.  Just  trusting  in  the 
Lord  all  the  time!  It  reminds  me  of  the 
two  old  negro  preachers  coming  down  the 
road,  one  to  help  the  other  in  a  protracted 
meeting.  Presently  Brother  Green  said, 
"  Brother  Chauncy,  I  will  tell  how  I  is  dese 
latter  days;  I  have  got  so  now  dat  I  don't 
do  anything;  I  jus'  trust  in  de  Lord  all  de 
time,  laying  down  on  dem  promises." 
Brother  Chauncy  said,  "  I'll  tell  you  how  I 
is ;  I  does  de  bes'  I  kin  fer  myself  fust,  den  I 
lays  down  on  de  Lord,  and  trusts  in  dem 
promises."  About  that  time  a  mad  bull 
came  down  the  road  with  mud  on  his  horn 
and  business  in  his  eyes,  and  he  was  making 
for  the  two  darkies.  One  took  to  the  woods 
on  this  side  of  the  road,  and  the  other  took 
to  the  woods  on  that  side.  About  a  mile  up 
the  road  the  old  negroes  came  together  again 


28   POPULAR  LECTURES  of  SAM  P.  JONES 

in  the  road,  both  puffing  and  blowing. 
Brother  Chauney  said,  "  Look  heah.  Brother 
Green,  you  'lowed  you  didn't  do  nuffin'  fo 
yo'self,  but  dat  you  trusts  in  de  Lord  al- 
ways, but  I  noticed  dat  when  dat  animal 
come  down  de  road,  you  took  to  your  heels 
jes  lak  I  did.  How  you  gwine  to  'splain  dat 
in  your  theology?  "  Brother  Chauney  re- 
plied, "  Brother  Green,  I'se  gwine  tell  you 
how  dat  is.  I  don't  think  dar  was  any  ob 
dem  wild  animals  loose  w^hen  de  Lord  made 
dem  promises." 

Just  trusting  in  the  Lord.  You  hear  me. 
Whenever  we  put  our  faith  into  practice, 
whenever  we  do  like  we  believe,  it  is  just  a 
question  of  time  until  we  will  win  the  world 
to  God.  You  can  do  it.  You  can't  substi- 
tute rhetoric  and  logic  and  belles-lettres  and 
beautiful  sermons  for  the  Power  from  On 
High.  And  some  pastors  are  leading  the 
way  wrong  by  preaching  occultism,  social- 
ism, and  a  thousand  other  isms. 

I  was  at  a  big  Chautauqua  a  year  or  more 
ago,  and  I  was  to  lecture  in  the  afternoon, 
and  their  purpose  was  to  go  from  the 
sublime  to  the  ridiculous,  so  they  put  up  a 
great  D.D. — dudle  digger — to  speak  in  the 
morning.  You  know  what  a  dudle  digger  is? 
He  is  a  fellow  nearly  out  of  a  job.    And  that 


PHILOSOPHY,  FACTS,  AND  FUN      29 

old  D.D. ;  his  lecture  was  on  sociology.  My, 
what  a  lecture!  Learned?  He  told  us  all 
the  ologies,  biology,  geology,  and  zoology, 
and  how  he  did  capture  that  crowd.  This 
was  his  peroration :  "  Now,  ladies  and  gen- 
tlemen, in  view  of  these  facts  of  biology  and 
geology  and  sociology,  the  man  that  believes 
that  God  created  this  w^orld  just  six  thou- 
sand years  ago,  and  that  on  the  finishing 
day  of  creation  he  picked  up  a  little  piece 
of  mud  and  blew  on  it  and  a  living  perfect 
man  walked  off  and  stumbled  over  an  apple 
and  fell  in  a  barrel  of  whiskey  and  is  reeling 
off  to  hell, — a  man  who  will  believe  that 
now  will  believe  anything.  Why,  rather  I 
believe  that  the  world  has  existed  for  mil- 
lions of  years,  and  God  created  man  away 
down  among  the  lower  animals  and  he  has 
come  up  higher  and  higher  and  higher,  and 
some  day  he  will  reach  the  stature  of  a  full 
man."  He  bowed  himself  off  the  platform, 
and  the  people  whooped  and  hollered.  He 
walked  down,  took  my  arm,  and  walked  off 
with  me,  and  I  said,  "  Hello,  Bud,  you  dug 
up  more  snakes  to-day  than  you  can  kill  the 
balance  of  your  life.  It  is  a  sin  and  a  shame 
for  a  minister  of  God  to  dig  up  snakes  and 
throw  them  on  the  crowd,  for  you  can  easily 
unsettle  the  beliefs  of  the  weak  these  days, 


30  POPULAR  LECTURES  of  SAM  P.  JONES 

but  it  is  mighty  hard  to  settle  them  back 
again/'  "  Well/'  he  said,  "  Jones,  I  think 
there  is  less  harm  in  the  promulgation  of 
truth  than  in  the  suppression  of  truth." 
"  Yes,  but,"  I  said,  "  you  don't  know  but 
that  everything  you  stated  was  a  lie.  Now," 
said  I,  "  will  you,  the  next  time  you  deliver 
your  great  sermon  on  sociology,  will  you 
slip  in  a  parenthesis  for  me?  "  He  promised 
that  he  would,  and  then  I  said,  "  Tell  the 
people  I  heard  your  lecture  and  that  I  didn't 
like  it.  I  don't  like  a  joke  on  God;  and  tell 
your  neighbors  that  I  didn't  know  the  modus 
operandi  of  creation,  whether  God  on  the  fin- 
ishing day  picked  up  a  piece  of  mud  and 
blew  upon  it  and  a  living,  perfect  man 
walked  away  and  stumbled  over  an  apple 
and  fell  into  a  barrel  of  whiskey  and  then 
into  hell;  I  don't  know  what  that  means; 
but  I  do  know,  for  I  was  right  on  the  spot 
when  the  thing  happened,  that  the  Good 
God  did  come  down  to  Cartersville,  Ga., 
nearly  thirty  years  ago  and  picked  up  the 
dirtiest  piece  of  mud  in  the  town,  called 
Sam  Jones,  and  blew  upon  it,  and  a  living 
man  for  God  and  right  has  been  walking 
forth  from  that  day  to  this."  And  I  believe 
the  breath  of  the  Almighty  is  omnipotent ! 
But  to  hurry  through.    The  finest  girl  is 


PHILOSOPHY,  FACTS,  AND  FUN      31 

the  young  lady  who  makes  her  mother  her 
sweetheart,  and  who  loves  her  mother  more 
than  she  does  all  this  world.  I  know  what 
I  am  talking  about.  I  married  a  Kentucky 
girl,  and  thank  God,  she  was  a  "  mammy 
girl."  I  never  saw  such  devotion  in  my  life 
as  I  have  witnessed  on  the  part  of  my  good 
wife  toward  her  sweet  old  mother.  The  last 
many  years  of  her  life  she  came  from  her 
Kentucky  country  home  and  spent  the  win- 
ter with  us.  And  oh,  such  devotion !  I  was 
preaching  in  a  great  camp-meeting  in  Balti- 
more, and  got  a  telegram  from  my  wife  at 
Cartersville,  saying,  "  I  take  the  train  this 
morning  for  mother's  home,  she  is  quite  ill, 
I  will  keep  you  posted."  By  wire  the  mes- 
sages came  every  day,  and  the  fourth  day 
she  wired,  "  Come,  I  don't  think  mother  can 
live."  I  took  the  first  train,  and  when  I  got 
off  at  Eminence,  and  got  into  the  buggy  and 
drove  to  the  country  home,  I  jumped  out  of 
the  buggy,  and  wife  met  me  on  the  front 
porch,  and  I  scarcely  recognised  her.  I 
never  saw  such  a  change  in  human  looks. 
She  threw  her  arms  about  me  and  said, 
"  Mother  is  gone,  but  she  did  want  to  see 
you  and  talk  with  you  so  bad."  It  was 
nearly  six  months  before  I  dared  hope  that 
my  wife  would  ever  get  over  the  stroke 


32  POPULAR  LECTURES  of  SAM  P.  JONES 

caused  by  the  death  of  her  mother,  who  was 
eighty-six  years  of  age,  and  wife  was  nearly 
fifty-one.  You  give  me  the  girl  that  will 
stay  by  her  mammy ;  and  boys,  when  you  find 
that  sort  of  a  girl,  you  drive  your  ducks  up 
to  that  market  and  sell  them.  And  if  you 
can  not  sell  them  give  them  away, — that's 
the  thing  to  do  right  there.  The  girl  that 
will  stay  by  her  mammy  is  worth  her  weight 
in  gold. 

Again !  The  finest  boy  is  the  boy,  twenty- 
one  years  old,  who  can  stand  on  the 
threshold  of  manhood,  and  look  back  to  his 
cradle  and  say,  "  Thank  God,  from  the 
cradle  to  manhood,  I  have  never  put  a  cruel 
foot  on  the  heart  of  my  sweet  mother,  a 
single  time."  That's  the  finest  young  man 
you  have  got.  Boys,  hear  me!  I  step  into 
the  inner  circle  of  my  home,  with  its  secrets 
of  life,  and  tell  you  this :  I  would  sit  by  the 
mother  of  my  two  boys,  when  they  were  off 
at  school, — and  that  is  the  most  dangerous 
period  with  Ajnerican  boys.  I  would  get 
home  from  a  long  trip,  and  after  supper,  and 
the  evening  prayers,  and  the  girls  retired, 
wife  and  I  alone,  she  would  pull  down  the 
letters  she  had  gotten  from  her  boys,  and 
read  me  one  and  another  and  another,  with 
interludes  of  what  I  thought  of  this  letter 


PHILOSOPHY,  FACTS,  AND  FUN      33 

and  of  the  next,  and  so  on.  That  ni^Iit  she 
talked  so  long  and  late,  she  melted  my  whole 
nature.  I  said,  "  I  am  going  to  watch  and 
wait,  and  catch  the  last  word  that  this 
mother  says  to-night."  And  that  night,  just 
before  she  closed  her  eyes  in  sleep,  she 
turned  her  face  toward  me  and  said,  "  Hus- 
band, do  you  reckon  it  goes  well  with  my 
boys  to-night?  My  precious  boys !  "  When 
her  heavy  breathing  told  me  that  she  had 
gone  to  sleep,  I  said,  "  I  am  going  to  watch 
and  catch  the  first  words  of  this  mother  in 
the  morning."  And  the  morning  came  with 
the  light  peering  through  the  blinds;  she 
opened  her  eyes,  and  turned  her  face  and 
said,  "  Husband,  I  dreamed  all  night  about 
my  boys,  I  wonder  if  it  goes  well  with  my 
boys."  Can  a  boy  run  over  a  heart  like  that 
and  make  a  man?  You  can't  do  it.  God 
has  got  it  fixed  so  that  you  can't. 

I  have  never  known  a  boy  nor  a  girl  who 
loved  and  honored  a  mother  that  they  did 
not  come  to  the  highest  destiny  of  human 
beings :  I  have  never  known  a  girl  or  a  boy 
yet  to  turn  a  back  on  a  good  mother,  and 
trample  her  heart  under  their  feet,  that 
didn't  come  to  grief.  God  help  you,  young 
man,  to  stay  by  your  mother.  She  is  the 
best  friend  you  will  ever  have.    I  am  going 


34   POPULAR  LECTURES  of  SAM  P.  JONES 

to  throw  this  little  picture  out ;  take  it  home 
with  you,  boys,  young  ladies;  it  is  not 
poetry,  nor  is  it  a  dream. 

One  calm,  bright,  sweet,  sunshiny  day,  an 
angel  stole  out  of  heaven,  and  came  down  to 
this  old  world,  and  roamed  field  and  forest, 
city  and  hamlet;  and  just  as  the  sun  went 
down  he  plumed  his  wings  and  said :  "  Now 
my  visit  is  out,  and  I  must  go  back  to  the 
world  of  light,  but  before  I  go  I  must  gather 
some  mementos  of  my  visit  here'';  and  he 
looked  over  into  a  beautiful  flower  garden 
and  said,  ''  How  lovely  and  fragrant  these 
flowers  are,"  and  he  plucked  the  rarest  roses, 
and  made  a  bouquet,  and  said,  "  I  see  noth- 
ing more  beautiful  and  fragrant  than  these ; 
I  will  take  them  with  me/'  But  he  looked 
a  little  further  and  there  saw  a  little  bright- 
eyed,  rosy-cheeked  babe,  smiling  up  into  its 
mother's  face,  and  he  said,  "  Oh,  that  baby's 
smile  is  prettier  than  this  bouquet;  I  will 
take  that,  too."  Then  he  looked  just  beyond 
the  cradle,  and  there  was  a  mother's  love 
pouring  out  like  the  gush  of  a  river,  to- 
ward the  cradle  and  the  baby,  and  he  said, 
"Oh,  that  mother's  love  is  the  prettiest 
thing  I  have  seen  on  earth ;  I  will  carry  that, 
too ! "  With  the  three  treasures  he  winged  his 
way  to  the  pearly  gates,  and  lit  just  on  the 


PHILOSOPHY,  FACTS,  AND  FUN      35 

outside,  and  said,  "  Before  I  go  in  I  will  ex- 
amine my  mementos,"  and  he  looked  at  the 
flowers,  and  they  had  withered ;  he  looked  at 
the  baby's  smile,  and  it  had  faded  away ;  he 
looked  at  the  mother's  love,  and  there  it  was 
in  all  its  pristine  beauty  and  fragrance.  He 
threw  aside  the  withered  flowers  and  the 
faded  smile,  and  winged  his  way  through  the 
gates  and  led  all  the  hosts  of  heaven  to 
gether  and  said,  "  Here  is  the  only  thing  I 
found  on  earth  that  would  keep  its  fragrance 
all  the  way  to  heaven, — A  Mother's  Love." 


II 


THE    WORLD    AS    IT    IS    AND    THE 
WORLD  AS  IT  OUGHT  TO  BE 

Frank  Stanton,  the  Georgia  poet,  says: 

"This  old  world  we're  living  in 
Is  mighty  hard  to  beat; 
You  get  a  thorn  with  every  rose. 
But  ain't  the  roses  sweet  ? " 

THIS  is  a  great  world  in  which  you  and 
I  live,  brother.  There  may  be  larger 
worlds,  iand  grander  andbetter  worlds 
than  this;  but  this  is  a  great  world.  Its 
mountains  are  God^s  thoughts  piled  up ;  its 
prairies  God's  thoughts  spread  out;  its 
rivers  God's  thoughts  in  motion ;  its  flowers 
God's  thoughts  in  bloom ;  its  harvests  God's 
thoughts  in  bread;  its  dew  drops  God's 
thoughts  in  pearls;  and,  wherever  we  look 
about  us,  every  object  smiles  back  upon  us, 
and  says,  "  I  am  but  the  gift  of  a  gracious 
Father  to  his  wayward  children." 

This  is  not  only  a  great  world,  but  the 
people  in  this  world  are  very  badly  spoiled 
36 


WORLD  AS  IT  IS  AND  OUGHT  TO  BE   37 

people.  Nothing  pleases  them.  There  is  noth- 
ing the  world  to-day  reminds  me  so  much 
of  as  a  big  family  of  spoiled  children.  See 
that  old  banker,  president  of  a  ten  million 
dollar  bank?  At  three  o'clock  in  the  after- 
noon he  steps  into  his  landau  and  drives  off 
down  the  street.  He  stops  in  front  of  a  beau- 
tiful candy  and  fruit  store,  and  orders  some 
of  the  rarest  candies  and  fruits  for  his  home. 
By  and  by,  sitting  in  his  palatial  home,  he 
sees  the  delivery  wagon  driving  up,  and  he 
turns  to  his  children,  and  says,  "  Children, 
if  you  will  go  to  the  pantry,  I  expect  you 
will  find  something  to  your  liking.  I  have 
ordered  you  some  nice  things.^'  Only  two  of 
the  children  walk  out  of  the  room.  Directly 
one  of  them  comes  back  with  candy  in  one 
hand  and  fruit  in  the  other  and  says,  "  Papa, 
what  do  you  get  this  old  stuff  for?  Nobody 
wants  it.''  That  kid  needs  killing.  But  see 
that  old  country  brother  drive  into  town 
with  his  wagon,  with  chickens  and  eggs  to 
barter  for  the  necessities  of  his  home.  When 
he  is  about  through  trading,  there  is  still 
about  ten  cents  due  him,  and  he  returns  to 
the  merchant  and  says,  "  Wrap  me  up  a 
pound  of  that  red  stick  candy."  The  candy 
goes  in  with  the  other  bundles.  He  drives 
up  in  front  of  his  home,  and  when  he  gets 


88   POPULAR  LECTURES  of  SAM  P.  JONES 

near  the  house,  a  half  dozen  little  tow- 
headed  children  run  out  and  say,  ^'  Papa, 
what  did  you  bring  us?  "  He  unwraps  the 
bundle  of  candy,  and  gives  each  little  fel- 
low a  stick.  They  go  out  under  a  shade 
tree,  sit  down  on  the  greensward,  look  at 
each  other,  and  say,  "  We've  got  the  best 
papa  in  this  world.  Just  look  what  he  has 
brought  us."  Those  children  ought  to  grow 
up,  and  multiply  and  replenish  the  earth. 
They  are  grateful. 

We  have  reached  a  point  in  this  country 
where  we  are  satisfied  with  nothing.  A  man 
who  gets  a  million  wants  another  million. 
If  he  gets  ten  millions  then  he  wants  to  be 
as  rich  as  Rockefeller.  And  then  he  wants 
the  whole  world  fenced  in  and  fixed  up  for 
him.  What  if  a  man  is  as  rich  as  Rockefel- 
ler? What  is  that  compared  with  the  State 
of  New  York.  And  suppose  a  man  owned 
the  whole  State  of  New  York,  what  is  that 
compared  with  the  balance  of  America? 
And  suppose  one  man  owned  the  whole 
United  States,  what  is  that  compared  with 
the  balance  of  the  world?  And  suppose  a 
man  owned  this  w^hole  world?  Why,  you 
could  put  two  such  worlds  in  your  pocket, 
and  go  out  to  the  dog  star  and  stay  all  night, 
and  you  wouldn't  have  enough  to  pay  your 


WORLD  AS  IT  IS  AND  OUGHT  TO  BE        39 

hotel  bill.  This  whole  thing  is  comparative. 
The  more  we  get  of  anything  the  more  we 
want.  Out  in  Utah  a  man  wants  every 
woman  in  the  country  for  a  wife.  Some  men 
can't  get  along  with  one,  and  I  never  could 
understand  how  they  could  get  along  with 
two,  much  less  four,  or  a  dozen.  The  more 
you  get  the  more  you  want. 

But  happiness  in  this  life  is  found  in  ab- 
stinence. Happiness  in  this  life  is  found  in 
absolute  temperance,  in  everything.  Happy 
is  the  man  that  don't  want  much.  Happy 
is  the  man  w^ho  is  blessed  with  but  little. 
Every  man  wants  but  little  here  below, 
and  he  don't  want  that  very  long.  I  am 
very  well  pleased  with  this  world!  It 
is  really  the  best  world  in  which  I  have  ever 
lived.  And  this  world  is  a  thousand  times 
better  to  me  than  I  have  been  to  it ;  I  have  no 
kick  or  complaint.  I  don't  kick  any  way.  I 
am  like  the  fellow  that  got  both  legs  cut 
off  by  the  train.  They  gathered  around, 
and  began  condoling  with  him.  He  looked 
up  and  said,  "  Gentlemen,  I  am  not 
kicking." 

I  not  only  have  a  thousand  great  blessings 
to  be  thankful  for,  but  I  have  a  great  many 
things,  in  a  negative  sense,  to  be  thankful 
for.    I  thank  God  I  am  not  bow-legged.    The 


40   POPULAR  LECTURES  of  SAM  P.  JONES 

hardest  thing  in  the  world  to  do  is  to  marry 
off  a  bow-legged  man.  The  town  girl  won't 
have  him  because  she  can't  sit  in  his  lap. 
The  country  girl  won't  have  him  because  he 
can't  keep  off  the  grass.  I  am  glad  I  was 
not  born  bow-legged.  I  am  glad  I  am  not 
cross-eyed.  Two  cross-eyed  fellows  met  one 
another  round  the  corner,  and  they  had  a 
head-end  collision.  One  bounced  back  and 
said,  "  Why  don't  you  look  where  you  are 
going?"  The  other  said,  "Why  don't  you 
go  where  you  are  looking?  "  I  thank  God 
I  have  never  licked  anybody;  that  I  never 
stole  anything;  that  I  never  committed  a 
crime  for  which  I  was  arrested;  and  yet, 
other  men,  perhaps,  as  good  as  myself,  in 
temptation,  have  done  those  things.  And 
when  we  sit  down  and  think  over  not  only 
the  blessings  we  have  received,  but  the  many 
things  the  grace  of  God  has  kept  us  out  of, 
we  ought  to  go  through  this  world  with  a 
smile  of  gratitude  on  our  faces,  at  every 
step. 

A  fellow  had  two  neighbours.  One  of 
them  was  always  growling.  He  met  him  one 
morning,  and  said  to  him,  "  How  are  you?  " 
He  replied,  "  Not  so  well  to-day  as  yester- 
day; and  not  near  as  well  yesterday  as  the 
day  before.    And  if  I  don't  die  of  disease 


WORLD  AS  IT  IS  AND  OUGHT  TO  BE        41 

pretty  soon,  I  will  starve  to  death.''  And  he 
said  he  hurried  away  from  that  fellow,  and 
went  round  the  corner  and  met  another 
neighbour,  and  said  to  him,  "  How  are  you 
this  morning?  "  "  Ha,  ha,  never  better." 
"Is  your  family  well?"  "Ha,  ha,  well!  The 
measles  struck  us  ten  days  ago,  and  nine  of 
the  children  are  down  with  the  measles,  and 
it  would  make  a  dog  laugh  to  watch  my  wife 
out  among  the  speckled  children.  It  is  the 
funniest  thing  I  ever  saw." 

Once  I  got  hard  up  and  went  down  and 
sold  the  best  suit  I  had  to  get  bread,  and  I 
had  my  shoes  half  soled,  and  that  night  some 
fellow  stole  my  shoes,  and  the  next  morning 
the  snow  was  ten  inches  deep,  and  I  got  up 
and  looked  out  of  the  window,  and  saw  a 
man  on  a  wagon  with  no  feet,  and  I  said, 
"  I  would  rather  have  feet  and  no  shoes  than 
shoes  with  no  feet."  I  like  the  fellow  that 
goes  along  without  growling.  This  world 
is  an  ungrateful  world.  If  there  is  anything 
we  ought  to  cultivate  to  make  this  world 
w^hat  it  ought  to  be,  it  is  the  spirit  of  grati- 
tude. There  is  no  more  commendable  spirit 
in  this  world  than  the  spirit  which  thanks 
God  and  thanks  his  fellowmen  for  the  many 
thousand  kindnesses  shown  him  along  the 
way. 


42   POPULAR  LECTURES  of  SAM  P.  JONES 

Another  thing;  this  world  is  not  what  it 
ought  to  be,  in  its  financial  intercourse.  It 
seems  like  now  every  fellow  without  scruple 
is  after  the  dollar.  The  way  to  hide  any 
deviltry  in  this  world  is  to  cover  it  over  with 
dollars  and  cents,  and  then  you  can't  see  any 
wrong.  When  times  began  to  tighten  up  in 
1893  plenty  of  good  fellows  wanted  me  to 
stand  for  them  at  the  bank.  I  stood  for 
them.  I  did  not  know  what  it  meant,  but 
shucks,  I  know  now.  I  will  venture  the 
assertion  that  I  have  paid  out  forty  thou- 
sand dollars  in  the  last  five  years,  standing 
for  fellows,  and  now  when  a  fellow  comes 
to  me  and  wants  me  to  stand  for  him,  I  say, 
"  Shucks,  I  am  lying  down  myself ;  I  don't 
stand  for  anything."  The  biggest  fool  in  the 
country  is  the  fellow  who  will  sign  his  name 
to  another  fellow's  notes.  You  bankers 
don't  act  right.  If  a  fellow  comes  to  you, 
and  wants  to  borrow  money,  you  tell  him  if 
he  will  go  and  get  so  and  so  on  his  note, 
you  will  let  him  have  the  money.  Why  don't 
you  get  on  the  note  yourself?  You  get  the 
interest. 

The  biggest  fool  in  the  United  States  to- 
day is  the  fellow  that  dulls  his  conscience 
with  dollars  and  cents.  This  world  is  in 
debt.     The  national,  state,  the  municipal, 


WORLD  AS  IT  IS  AND  OUGHT  TO  BE         43 

and  individual  debt  of  this  country  never 
will  be  paid.  They  don't  calculate  to  pay 
it.  They  pay  the  interest  until  they  can  not 
pay  it  longer,  and  then  they  go  into  bank- 
ruptcy, and  reorganise ;  and  it  is  an  absolute 
impossibility  for  the  world  to  pay  its  debts ; 
and  there  ought  never  to  have  been  a  debt  in- 
curred. The  biggest  fool  in  this  country  is 
the  man  who  will  go  on  another  fellow's 
notes.  The  next  biggest  fool  is  the  fellow 
going  into  debt.  It  is  our  imaginary  wants 
which  keep  us  in  debt. 

Then  you  step  into  the  church  world ;  and 
the  thing  is  not  moving  along  like  it  ought 
to.  We  will  all  admit  that.  You  can  abuse 
the  churches  and  laugh  at  the  preachers,  but 
I  want  to  tell  you  I  have  watched  the  pro- 
cession move  until  I  know  this  is  true;  the 
best  men  and  women  living  on  this  earth, 
those  who  are  really  the  salt  of  the  earth, 
are  the  faithful  men  and  women  who  be- 
lieve the  word  of  God  and  march  to  the 
tune  of  his  grace  in  the  church  every  day. 
Suppose  you  go  to  St.  Louis,  Kansas  City, 
Chicago,  and  New  York,  and  to  every  city  in 
the  Union,  and  turn  the  community  over  to 
the  gang — uninterrupted,  unmolested,  and 
uninfluenced  by  the  good  people  of  the  com- 
munity.    It  would  not  be  very  long  before 


44   POPULAR  LECTURES  of  SAM  P.  JONES 

these  communities  would  go  to  the  very  bot- 
tom of  anarchy  and  ruin.  You  know  I  thank 
God  for  every  churchman  in  my  town. 
There  are  some  trifling  members,  but  I  am 
talking  about  the  good  members.  The  devil 
has  worried  me  a  heap  about  the  trifling 
members  in  the  church.  One  day  I  was  sit- 
ting quietly  at  home  talking  to  my  wife.  I 
said,  "  Wife,  I  have  learned  a  new  trick  on 
the  devil.''  She  said,  "  What  is  it?  "  I  said, 
"  He  has  worried  me  almost  to  death.  He 
trots  out  an  old  hypocrite  and  says  to  me, 
^  What  do  you  think  of  him?'  When  he 
does  it,  I  propose  to  trot  out  old  Brother 
Loveless  here  in  town.  One  of  the  best  old 
men  God  ever  made,  and  ask  the  devil  what 
he  thinks  of  him.  And  the  devil  will  have  to 
walk  off."  Whenever  the  devil  trots  out  a 
hypocrite,  you  trot  out  a  first-class  man,  and 
the  devil."  She  said,"  What  is  it?"  I  said, 
else  at  once.  And  if  you  have  not  got  one, 
import  one.  The  women  are  the  best  part 
of  the  church,  but  the  good  women  spend 
more  for  Easter  bonnets,  and  rigging  every 
spring  than  they  give  to  God  throughout  the 
year.  They  will  dress  up  and  rig  out  in  all 
their  Easter  style,  and  go  to  church,  take  a 
front  seat,  and  sing, 


WORLD  AS  IT  IS  AND  OUGHT  TO  BE   45 

^^  Must  Jesus  bear  the  cross  alone. 
And  all  the  world  go  free? 
No,  there's  a  cross  for  every  one. 
And  an  Easter  bonnet  for  me." 

How  are  you  going  to  save  the  world  with 
a  gang  like  that?  You  can't  do  it.  And 
you,  dear  old  brother,  you  will  sing, 

"  Am  I  a  soldier  of  the  cross  ? " 

You  are  no  soldier,  you  are  just  home 
guards.  You  are  like  the  soldier  in  the 
midst  of  the  fight,  who  threw  down  his  gun 
and  ran.  His  colonel  said,  "  What  are  you 
running  for?  "    "  Because  I  can't  fly." 

Some  years  ago  we  were  holding  a  kind  of 
a  love  feast  in  a  city  church  in  Atlanta,  Ga. 
I  was  talking  on  the  church  as  an  organised 
force  for  God  and  right.  I  said.  Suppose 
the  church  of  God  was  organised  like  a  loco- 
motive. A  locomotive  engine  is  like  a  pile 
of  organised  iron ;  that  pile  of  scrap  iron  out 
there  on  the  ground  is  unorganised  iron. 
That  iron,  if  you  want  to  move  it,  you  must 
pick  it  up  on  the  trucks,  roll  it  into  a  car, 
and  hitch  an  engine  to  the  car.  See  that 
organised  iron.  That  steam  gauge  as  its 
finger  indicates  one  hundred  and  eighty 
pounds  pressure.  Touch  the  throttle  and 
see  that  pile  of  organised  iron  go  down  the 


46   POPULAR  LECTURES  of  SAM  P.  JONES 

track  a  mile  a  minute,  pulling  its  freighted 
tons.  The  church  is  the  organised  force  of 
God.  I  said  to  the  congregation,  "  Each  of 
you  get  up  and  say  what  part  of  the  engine 
of  God's  power  you  would  rather  be."  One 
got  up  and  said,  "  I  would  like  to  be  the 
driving  w^heels  of  God's  engine.  That  is  the 
secret  of  her  speed.  They  are  under  the 
cylinder  where  the  power  is  locked  up.'' 

Another  said,  ^'  I  would  like  to  be  the 
cow-catcher,  and  run  ahead,  and  keep  the 
track  clear." 

Another  said,  "  I  would  like  to  be  the 
whistle,  and  sound  the  praises  of  God  all 
over  the  land." 

I  said  to  him,  "  We  have  got  too  many 
whistles  now.  We  don't  want  any  more 
whistles.  The  church  reminds  me  of  a 
steamboat  with  the  little  engine  about  four 
feet  long,  and  every  time  the  whistle  blows 
the  boat  stopped.  When  they  would  blow 
the  whistle  the  boat  could  not  run,  and 
when  it  ran,  they  could  not  blow." 

Another  said,  "  Brother  Jones,  I  would 
like  to  be  the  throttle  lever,  so  that  when 
God  put  his  hand  on  me,  things  would 
move." 

And  by  and  by  a  young  fellow,  about 
twenty-six  years  old,  who  was  a  clothing 


WORLD  AS  IT  IS  AND  OUGHT  TO  BE   47 

mercliant  in  Atlanta,  and  one  of  God's 
noblemen,  got  up,  and  I  knew  wlien  he 
stood  up  he  was  going  to  say  something. 
A  royal,  splendid  fellow.  I  suppose  he  was 
worth  twenty  thousand  dollars.  The  only 
trouble  with  him  was  his  stinginess.  He 
was  worth  twenty  thousand  dollars,  and 
would  not  give  but  fifteen  hundred  dollars 
a  year  to  the  church.  That  was  all  they 
could  get  out  of  him.  And  he  was  worth 
twenty  thousand  dollars!  The  stingy 
rascal!  I  knew  he  was  going  to  say  some- 
thing. That  spring  the  pastor  was  taking 
up  a  collection,  the  big,  old,  rich  fellows 
gave  thirty  and  forty  and  fifty  dollars,  and 
he  stood  up  and  said,  "  I  made  a  donation 
for  Foreign  Missions  last  fall,  and  I  will 
give  five  hundred  dollars  this  spring  to  help 
the  cause.'^  He  was  a  good  one — all  except- 
ing his  stinginess.  He  said,  "  Brother 
Jones,  let  these  other  brethren  be  cow-catch- 
ers, and  throttle  levers,  and  driving  wheels, 
and  whistles.  I  am  willing  to  be  the  black 
coal  which  is  pitched  into  the  furnace,  and 
which  is  burned  up,  and  which  makes  the 
steam  to  carry  on  the  work." 

We  have  run  out  of  coal.  You  good  old 
sisters,  you  kneel  down  and  say,  "  Oh,  Lord, 
send  the  fire,''  and  if  God  would  drop  a 


48   POPULAR  LECTURES  of  SAM  P.  JONES 

coal  of  fire  on  you  as  big  as  your  finger, 
you  would  say,  "  Ouch,  I  can't  stand 
it!" 

We  are  making  war  on  saloons.  Of 
course  the  preachers  preach  a  temperance 
sermon  every  year,  and  this  is  about  the  sub- 
stance of  it,  "  Brethren,  wine  is  a  mocker, 
and  strong  drink  is  raging.''  You  can't 
run  the  devil  out  of  town  with  a  thing  like 
that.  You  ought  to  be  loaded  up  to  the 
muzzle  and  shell  the  woods.  The  day  has 
come  for  the  practical  Gospel  sermon,  and 
not  so  much  theory.  There  is  a  tremendous 
difference  between  the  absorption  of 
truth,  and  the  application  of  truth.  A 
fellow  has  the  cramp  colic  and  is  tied  up 
in  a  double  bow  knot.  By  and  by  an  old 
dignified  doctor  comes  in  with  a  can  of  mus- 
tard in  one  hand,  and  a  dissertation  on 
mustard  in  the  other.  He  walks  up  to  the 
bed,  and  says,  "  My  friend,  be  quiet  about 
an  hour  and  a  half,  and  let  me  read  you  a 
dissertation  on  mustard ;  this  mustard  grew 
in  the  State  of  Connecticut;  it  was  planted 
about  the  first  of  June  and  cultivated  like 
potatoes,  and  vegetables  of  a  like  char- 
acter." 

About  that  time  another  paroxysm  hit 
the  fellow,  and  he  said,  "Good  Lord,  doc- 


WORLD  AS  IT  IS  AND  OUGHT  TO  BE        49 

tor,  I  don't  care  how  it  grew  or  where; 
spread  some  on  a  rag  and  put  it  on 
me." 

It  is  the  application  of  the  thing  which 
does  the  work,  not  the  dissertation.  And 
it  is  not  the  dissertation  on  truth,  but  the 
plain,  naked  truth,  slapped  on  the  con- 
sciences of  men,  that  does  the  work.  That 
is  what  we  want,  and  that  is  what  the  church 
does  not  want.  I  like  to  see  a  preacher  that 
nobody  can  ride.  Some  of  them  can  be  rid- 
den like  the  darky's  old  mule.  He  drove 
into  town  on  Saturday  evening,  driving  his 
old  mule  to  a  one-horse  wagon.  The  darkies 
gathered  round  him,  and  they  said,  "  Uncle 
Mose,  have  you  swapped  mules  again? " 
"  Yes,  and  dat  am  de  best  mule  I  ever  had. 
Anybody  can  drive  dat  mule.  The  children 
can  drive  him.  You  may  have  him  if  you'll 
ride  him."  They  said,  "  Take  the  harness 
off  him  and  we'll  ride  him."  They  took  the 
mule  out  of  the  shafts,  and  took  the  harness 
off  of  him,  and  a  darky  jumped  on  the  mule. 
But  he  did  not  stay  very  long.  And  then 
another,  and  another  tried  him,  and  met  a 
like  fate.  By  and  by  a  lean,  tall  fellow 
came  up  wearing  a  number  fifteen  shoe.  He 
got  on  the  mule,  and  the  mule  turned  his 
head  this  way  and  that  way  and  went  off 


50  POPULAR  LECTURES  of  SAM  P.  JONES 

down  the  road.  When  it  got  about  six  hun- 
dred yards,  he  turned  him,  and  he  came 
lagging  back.  He  said,  "  Uncle  Moses,  in 
justice  this  mule  am  mine;  but  I  am  not 
gwine  to  take  de  mule.  Dar  aint  no  justice 
in  it.  When  I  got  on  de  mule,  he  turned 
dis  way,  and  dat  way,  and  he  seed  my 
feet,  and  he  thought  he  w^as  in  shafts;  he 
don't  know  it  to  dis  minute  that  I  have  been 
riding  him." 

They  are  riding  you  preachers,  lots  of 
times,  when  you  think  you  are  in  shafts. 
When  the  preachers  give  it  to  you,  old 
brethren,  it  don't  do  any  good.  I  feel  some- 
times like  doing  with  the  church  like  an 
old  darky  driving  along  a  sandy,  level 
road  with  an  old  buggy,  to  which  was 
hitched  a  mule.  The  mule  stopped.  He  got 
out  and  tried  to  lead  him,  and  he  would  not 
go.  He  tried  to  drive  him  and  he  set  back. 
He  got  out,  and  got  a  bunch  of  fodder,  and 
held  it  in  front  of  the  mule,  but  he  would 
not  budge.  Finally,  the  old  darky  said, 
"  You  old  fool  mule,  you,  I'll  make  you 
pull."  So  he  piled  some  straw  and  brush 
under  the  mule,  and  set  it  on  fire.  The 
mule  moved  up  about  four  feet,  and  stopped 
with  the  buggy  over  the  fire,  and  burned  it 
up.    That  is  the  way  with  a  good  many  of 


WORLD  AS  IT  IS  AND  OUGHT  TO  BE   51 

you  church  people.  You  just  can't  do  any- 
thing with  them. 

The  saddest  phase  of  our  American  life 
is  that  the  good  old-fashioned  and  Holy 
Ghost  revival  is  played  out  in  our  country. 
I  have  not  seen  a  Holy  Ghost  revival  in  the 
United  States  in  the  last  five  years.  And 
you  have  not.  We  need  to  get  back  to  them. 
I  will  give  you  an  incident  illustrating  ex- 
actly what  I  mean  by  bringing  this  world 
where  it  ought  to  be. 

It  happened  now  just  about  twelve  years 
ago.  I  got  off  the  train  at  the  Union  Sta- 
tion in  a  city  east  of  here,  and  four  of  the 
preachers  met  at  the  depot.  They  said, 
"  Brother  Jones,  we  meet  you,  and  greet 
you  in  the  name  of  our  Lord.  We  have  fin- 
ished the  great  tabernacle  which  seats  eight 
thousand  people,  and  we  have  been  holding 
a  meeting  there.  All  the  churches  and  pas- 
tors have  combined  for  ten  nights,  and  God 
is  with  us.  And,  Brother  Jones,  God  is 
going  to  give  us  the  greatest  revival  you 
ever  witnessed  in  all  your  life.  I  said,  "  I 
thank  God  for  news  like  thaf  They  said, 
"  Brother  Jones,  we  have  reserved  a  suite  of 
rooms  in  our  best  hotel  for  you,  or  there  is 
a  splendid  private  home  that  wants  you  as 
their  guest."    I  said,  "  I  will  let  you  decide 


52  POPULAR  LECTURES  of  SAM  P.  JONES 

it  for  me."  Then  they  said,  "  We  will  put 
you  at  the  private  home."  I  got  in  the  car- 
riage with  two  of  those  pastors,  and  we 
drove  out  about  a  mile  from  the  depot  in 
the  suburbs,  and  stopped  in  front  of  a  splen- 
did home.  They  walked  in  with  me,  and 
met  the  wife  and  mother,  and  I  found  her 
to  be  one  of  God's  jewels.  In  a  few  mo- 
ments the  daughter  walked  in,  and  I  found 
out  afterwards  she  was  one  of  the  sweetest 
Christian  girls  I  have  ever  known.  By  and 
by  the  husband  came  in.  He  was  a  whole- 
sale dry-goods  merchant,  and  my  after- 
acquaintance  told  me  there  was  no  better, 
truer  man  in  that  great  city.  The  next 
morning  was  Sunday,  and  this  man  and  his 
wife  and  daughter  went  with  me  to  the 
great  tabernacle,  and  on  Monday  morning 
and  Monday  afternoon  they  were  also 
there. 

Monday  night  we  were  sitting  at  the  sup- 
per table,  and  everything  was  nice  and 
pleasant.  All  at  once  there  was  a  dull  thud, 
as  though  some  one  were  falling  on  the  soft 
carpet  in  the  hall.  Instantly  one  of  the 
liveried  servants  waiting  on  the  table  shot 
out  of  the  dining-room,  and  closed  the  door 
behind  him;  and  I  saw  the  light  go  out  of 
the  faces  of  those  around  the  table.    Noth- 


WORLD  AS  IT  IS  AND  OUGHT  TO  BE       53 

ing  more  was  said  until  I  left  the  table,  and 
as  I  left  the  mother  spoke  up  and  said, 
"  Brother  Jones,  excuse  us,  we  won't  go 
with  you  to  the  services  to-night."  I  went 
up  to  my  room  and  got  ready,  and  went 
down  to  the  meeting.  After  the  meeting  was 
over,  I  came  back  and  went  to  bed.  The  next 
morning  just  as  I  waked  up  that  servant 
came  into  my  room  to  see  if  I  needed  any- 
thing. I  looked  at  him,  and  I  said,  "  Neigh- 
bour, what  was  that  disturbance  in  the  hall 
last  night  ?  "  He  said, "  Brother  Jones,  don't 
you  know  about  that? ''  I  said,  "  Nothing 
at  all."  He  said,  "  That  is  the  poor,  way- 
ward, wrecked,  and  ruined  boy  of  this  home. 
He  came  staggering  in  last  night,  and  fell  in 
the  hall."  He  said,  "Mr.  Jones,  I  don't 
reckon  there  is  a  more  depraved  or  aban- 
doned boy  in  all  the  world  than  that;  and 
he  has  broken  his  mother's  heart,  and  the 
old  boss  rolls  and  tosses  on  his  bed  and 
groans  through  the  night;  and  that  sweet 
young  lady  here  never  goes  anywhere.  She 
is  heartbroken."  And  he  said,  "  Mr.  Jones, 
in  your  meetings  around  in  this  country, 
did  you  ever  hear  of  such  an  afflicted  fam- 
ily? "  I  said,  "  I  have  seen  scores  and  hun- 
dreds of  them."  He  said  then,  "  I  have 
prayed  every  day  to  God  to  save  that  boy." 


54  POPULAR  LECTURES  of  SAM  P.  JONES 

I  said,  "  Keep  on  praying ;  God  will  save 
him.'' 

That  morning  when  I  got  up  from  the 
breakfast  table,  the  mother  followed  me  into 
the  sitting-room,  and  said,  "  Brother  Jones, 
I  don't  know  what  you  have  heard  about  it, 
but  that  disturbance  last  night  was  my 
poor,  wayward,  and  ruined  boy.  When  he 
was  seventeen  years  old,  a  better  boy  I  never 
knew.  If  he  had  a  bad  habit  we  did  not 
know  it.  We  sent  him  off  to  college.  He 
came  back  at  the  end  of  four  years,  gradu- 
ated in  debauchery  and  ruin.  And,"  she 
said,  "  he  has  been  back  a  year  now,  and  we 
have  done  everything  that  the  heart  and 
soul  of  man  can  do;  but  he  has  gone  from 
bad  to  worse,  and  I  expect  he  is  the  most 
depraved  boy  in  all  this  city  to-day."  She 
said,  "  Just  one  question — in  your  meetings 
did  you  ever  see  a  family  so  sorely  af- 
flicted? "  I  said,  "  By  the  hundreds."  She 
said,  "Will  God  save  my  boy?"  I  said, 
"  Let  us  get  right  down  on  our  knees,  now, 
here  together,  and  pray  that  he  may."  All 
through  the  prayer  I  could  hear  her  fervent 
"  Amen."  When  we  got  off  our  knees,  she 
stood  up  in  front  of  me,  with  tears  that 
would  not  have  stained  an  angePs  cheek 
running  down  her  face,  and  she  said,  "  Oh, 


WORLD  AS  IT  IS  AND  OUGHT  TO  BE   55 

will  God  hear  that  prayer  and  save  my  poor 
lost  boy?''  I  said,  "He  certainly  will,  in 
my  candid  faith  and  opinion."  I  said, 
"  Where  is  that  boy?  "  She  said,  "  He  is  in 
the  next  room  now,  I  heard  him  moving 
about."  She  said,  "You  will  have  to  be 
very  careful,  he  is  so  resentful  if  you  go 
about  him."  I  tapped  on  his  room  door, 
and  a  harsh,  rough  voice  said,  "  Come  in." 
He  was  standing  before  a  mirror,  brushing 
his  hair,  dressed,  except  his  coat  and  hat. 
When  I  stepped  in  I  extended  my  hand  and 
said,  "  Young  man,  I  am  the  guest  of  this 
home.  My  name  is  Sam  Jones;  I  thought 
I  would  talk  to  you  a  little  while,  if  you 
don't  care."  He  just  turned  deliberately, 
put  on  his  coat  and  hat,  and,  paying  no 
attention  to  me,  started  out  by  me.  I 
stepped  in  front  of  him  and  said,  "  Young 
man,  just  a  minute.  I  have  been  on  my 
knees  beside  that  heart-broken  mother  of 
yours,  down  in  the  sitting-room,  as  we 
prayed;  and  now,  young  man,  listen.  Go 
right  downstairs,  put  your  arms  around 
your  mother's  neck,  and  say,  '  Mother,  I 
have  drank  my  last  drop,  and  debauched  my 
last  night.  Or  else  go  back  to  the  dresser, 
pick  up  that  pistol,  load  it  freshly,  go  down- 
stairs, and  push   the  muzzle  against   the 


56      POPULAR  LECTURES  of  SAM  P.  JONES 

tender  temple  of  your  sweet  mother,  and 
pull  the  trigger,  and  the  angels  of  God  will 
clap  their  hands  as  she  falls  to  the  floor,  and 
thank  God  another  angel  mother  is  out  of 
suffering  for  ever." 

He  turned  his  face  towards  me,  and  a 
more  debauched  face  I  never  saw.  He 
said,  "  What  can  I  do?  "  "  Surrender  your 
life  to  God,  and  be  an  honour  and  blessing 
to  this  home."  He  said,  "  What  can  a  poor 
dog  like  me  do?"  I  said,  "Surrender  to 
God."  He  said,  "  Mr.  Jones,  I  am  so  tired 
of  this  miserable  life  of  mine.  I  see  no 
hope  or  chance."  I  said,  "  God  will  save 
you,  and  make  you  an  honour  to  this  home." 
"  Oh,"  he  said,  "  will  God  have  anything 
to  do  with  a  wretch  like  me?  "  I  said,  "  Let 
us  get  on  our  knees  and  ask  God  about  it 
right  away."  He  dropped  on  his  knees,  and 
I  said  "  Pray."  I  could  hear  his  sobs.  He 
arose  and  put  his  arms  around  my  neck,  and 
said,  "  Mr.  Jones,  tell  me  the  truth ;  is  there 
any  hope  for  a  poor  dog  like  me?  "  I  an- 
swered him  there  was.  I  said,  "  Don't  go 
out  of  this  room  to-day."  He  said,  "  If  I  do 
not,  I'll  die."  I  said,  "  If  you  do,  you  will 
die.  Stay  here;  I  am  going  to  the  taber- 
nacle." 

I  went  downstairs,  and  said,  "  Mother,  go 


WORLD  AS  IT  IS  AND  OUGHT  TO  BE        57 

upstairs;  your  boy  is  on  his  knees  praying. 
He  has  promised  me  to  stay  in  the  room 
until  I  get  back.  You  go  and  stay  with 
him,"  She  looked  me  in  the  face  and  said, 
"  Oh,  is  God  going  to  hear  my  prayer?  "  I 
said,  "  He  certainly  will."  She  went  up 
those  steps  like  a  young  girl.  When  I  came 
back  from  the  services,  she  was  sitting  by 
the  lounge  stroking  his  nervous  temples 
with  a  gentle  hand.  I  walked  in  and  said, 
"  Mother,  you  can  go.  I  will  stay  with  the 
young  man."  I  said,  ''  What  now,  young 
man?"  He  said,  "Oh,  Mr.  Jones,  nothing 
but  prayer  will  do  a  poor  miserable 
creature  like  me  any  good."  I  said,  "  We 
will  kneel  and  pray.  You  pray  first."  He 
said,  "  God  won't  hear  a  miserable  being 
like  me  pray."  I  said,  "  Pray  the  best  you 
can."  He  started  in,  "  Oh,  God,  for  moth- 
er's sake  have  mercy  on  me.  If  there  is 
any  mercy  in  heaven  let  it  come  to  a  poor, 
miserable,  ruined  dog  like  me."  We  got  off 
our  knees,  and  he  said,  "  Mr.  Jones,  don't 
trifle  with  a  poor  miserable  creature  like 
me.  Do  you  think  there  is  any  chance  for 
me?  "  I  said,  "  Of  course  there  is."  "  Oh," 
he  said,  "if  God  will  save  me ! " 

That  night  I  got  up  from  the  supper  table 
and  said,  "  Mother,  fix  a  cup  of  coffee,  and  I 


58   POPULAR  LECTURES  of  SAM  P.  JONES 

will  take  it  up  to  the  young  man.  He  don't 
Avant  any  supper.  You  go  on  to  the  services, 
and  I  will  bring  him  with  me.''  She  said, 
"  Are  you  going  to  take  care  of  him  there?  " 
I  said,  "  Of  course  I  am." 

I  carried  the  cup  of  coffee  to  him,  and  he 
was  so  nervous  he  could  not  take  it  in  his 
hand  and  drink  it.  I  poured  it  in  the  saucer 
and  held  it  to  his  lips.  I  said,  "  Get  your 
hat  and  we  will  go  to  the  services."  He 
said,  "Are  you  going  to  let  me  go  to  the 
services?  "  I  said,  "  Yes,  it  is  the  place  for 
you."  He  put  on  his  coat,  took  my  arm, 
and  we  walked  to  the  tabernacle.  I  set  him 
about  four  pews  from  the  front,  and  all  the 
time  I  was  preaching,  he  kept  his  nervous 
eyes  on  me,  and  when  I  invited  the  penitents 
forward,  he  came  along  with  the  others.  I 
walked  out  to  him  to  encourage  him,  and  he 
was  praying  with  all  his  heart.  And  to 
make  a  long  story  short  the  third  night 
after  that  I  saw  that  boy  converted  from  the 
crown  of  his  head  to  the  soles  of  his  feet.  It 
has  been  twelve  years  ago,  and  he  has  never 
drank  a  drop,  and  he  has  been  a  blessing 
to  that  home  from  that  day  to  this,  and 
all  through  these  meetings  he  worked  with 
all  his  might  with  his  old  friends  and  com- 
panions.    I  bade  them  good-bye  when  the 


WORLD  AS  IT  IS  AND  OUGHT  TO  BE   59 

meeting  was  over.  I  have  had  many  a  letter 
from  that  mother  and  that  young  man. 
Five  years  had  gone  by,  and  I  was  back  in 
that  city  for  two  hours  between  trains.  I 
got  on  a  street  car  and  ran  out  to  that 
home.  I  rang  the  door  bell.  The  mother 
being  in  the  hall  opened  the  door,  and  when 
I  stepped  in  she  looked  me  full  in  the  face, 
threw  her  arms  around  my  neck  and  said, 
"  Oh,  excuse  me,  sir,  but  you  can  never 
know  in  this  world  what  you  have  done  for 
this  home,  and  for  my  boy.  From  the  day 
you  left  us  to  this  hour  he  has  been  an 
angel  of  life  and  blessing  in  this  home." 

What  we  need  to  bring  this  world  back 
to  where  it  ought  to  be  is  simply  enough 
of  the  religion  of  the  Lord  Jesus  Christ,  in 
every  human  heart,  to  make  us  true  and  pure 
and  good.  Then  we  will  get  the  earth  where 
it  ought  to  be.  And  when  we  get  the  earth 
where  it  ought  to  be,  it  is  not  far  from 
heaven.  Really  you  can  stay  right  where 
you  are,  when  you  get  far  enough,  and  God 
Almighty  will  extend  the  streets  of  the  New 
Jerusalem,  and  incorporate  you  in  heaven 
forever. 


Ill 

CHARACTER  AND  CHARACTERS 

CHARACTER  is  the  immortal  part  of 
man.  Character  is  that  part  of  you 
and  me  which  shall  outlive  the  stars. 
Character  is  a  very  different  thing  from 
reputation.  My  reputation  is  what  men  say 
of  me.  My  character  is  what  I  really  am. 
Reputation  is  like  a  glove  that  you  may  put 
on  and  off  at  pleasure,  or  rend  to  pieces  and 
throw  away,  but  character  is  the  hand  itself, 
and  when  once  it  is  scarred  it  is  scarred 
for  ever.  To  say  that  a  man  has  a  good 
character  is  to  say  the  best  possible  thing 
of  him.  To  say  that  a  man  has  a  bad 
character,  you  can  say  nothing  worse  of 
him.  My  reputation  is  at  the  mercy  of 
every  vicious  tongue  and  pen  in  the  world. 
My  character  is  in  my  own  hands  and  out 
of  gunshot  reach  of  man  and  devil.  With 
a  good  character  no  amount  of  calumny 
or  slander  can  harm  me.  With  a  bad  char- 
acter, slander  and  libel  only  state  the  facts 
concerning  me. 

60 


CHARACTER  AND  CHARACTERS   61 

The  finest  picture  of  character  and  repu- 
tation I  ever  saw  was  at  the  shipyards  at 
Portsmouth,  Va.  In  company  with  some 
friends,  we  visited  the  shipyards  there  just 
about  the  time  the  Texas  was  ready  to 
launch,  and,  walking  around  the  great  ship, 
I  asked  the  master  builder  how  thick  the 
hull  of  the  ship  was.  He  said,  "  It  was  two 
layers  of  steel  about  the  thickness  of  your 
hand.''  I  asked  him  if  those  modern  guns 
would  throw  a  ball  through  her  wall. 
"  Yes,"  he  replied,  "  as  easily  as  a  rifle  will 
shoot  a  lead  ball  through  a  white  pine 
plank."  "  What,"  I  said,  "  and  this  battle- 
ship to  cost  nearly  three  million  dollars, 
and  you  are  to  launch  her  out  to  be  punc- 
tured and  sunk  by  the  first  well-directed 
shot  aimed  at  her?  "  "  No,"  said  he,  "  you 
don't  understand  this  ship.  Let's  go  on  her 
upper  deck.  Come  with  me."  When  we 
reached  her  upper  deck,  I  looked  at  her 
massive  turret,  I  said,  "  My !  What  are 
those?  "  He  said,  "  Those  are  her  turrets." 
I  said,  "What  about  them?"  He  replied, 
"  The  walls  of  her  turrets  are  twelve  inches 
thick,  made  of  the  best  armor  plate.  There 
is  not  a  flat  place  on  her  turrets  as  large  as 
the  palm  of  your  hand.  A  ball  fired  at  her 
turrets  would  not  stick,  and  if  it  did  would 


62  POPULAR  LECTURES  of  SAM  P.  JONES 

do  no  harm.''  Then  I  said,  "  Why  have  her 
so  strong  up  here  and  so  weak  below?  "  He 
said,  ^'  Mr.  Jones,  you  do  not  understand 
this  ship.  When  she  approaches  battle,  they 
pump  water  into  her  hull  and  sink  her  on  a 
dead  level  with  her  turrets.  Then  you  may 
turn  the  guns  of  all  battleships  and  forts  on 
her,  and  you  can't  phase  her."  "Well," 
said  I,  "  w^hat  sort  of  guns  wdll  she  carry?  " 
He  replied,  "  No  ship  or  fort  can  stand  up 
before  her  guns." 

My  reputation  may  be  riddled  by  the 
tongues  and  pens  of  others,  but  if  I  am  a 
man  of  good  character  I  sink  myself  on  a 
level  wdth  my  character,  and  then  you  can 
turn  the  guns  of  earth  and  hell  loose  upon 
me  and  you  can't  phase  me.  But  when  I 
turn  the  guns  loose  from  the  turrets  of  my 
character,  nothing  can  stand  before  them. 

Character  is  the  result  of  the  harmony  of 
forces  in  man.  The  great  trouble  w  ith  hu- 
manity lies  in  the  fact  that  it  is  all  out  of 
harmony  with  itself.  That  something  that 
turned  angels  into  devils  has  struck  human- 
ity a  hard  lick  and  knocked  it  all  out  of 
harmony  with  itself. 

A  man's  will  may  choose  something,  but 
his  judgment  does  not  approve.  Sometimes 
will  and  judgment  will  agree,  then  con- 


CHARACTER  AND  CHARACTERS   63 

science  will  pull  back  on  him.  Again  will 
and  conscience  and  judgment  may  all  agree 
upon  a  night's  debauch,  and  the  poor  fellow 
wakes  up  saying,  "  I  am  sorry  to  think  of 
my  head  in  the  morning."  Then  whatever 
else  may  be  said  for  or  against  humanity, 
we  know  it  is  not  out  of  harmony  with 
itself. 

Let  a  well-trained  musician  sit  down  at 
that  piano;  he  sweeps  the  board  with  his 
fingers  a  time  or  two.  A  frown  gathers  on 
his  face  and  I  hear  the  discordant  notes  of 
the  instrument.  I  ask  him  what  is  the 
matter.  He  replies,  "  Two  of  these  keys  are 
out  of  harmony  with  the  others.^'  Then 
those  two  keys  are  out  of  harmony  with 
everything  in  all  worlds  that  is  in  harmony. 
I  say  to  him,  "  Close  the  piano  up  and  tell  it 
to  put  itself  in  harmony  with  itself.'^  He 
replies,  "  The  piano  can't  do  if  I  say, 
"  Who  can  do  it?  ''  "  The  man  who  made 
it,"  he  replies.  When  the  man  who  made  it 
sits  down  and  begins  work,  and  brings  those 
two  keys  in  harmony  with  the  others  that 
are  in  harmony,  then  the  whole  instrument 
is  in  harmony  with  everything  in  the  uni- 
verse that  is  in  harmony.  And  man  can't 
put  himself  in  harmony  with  himself,  but 
the  God  who  made  him  can  do  it.    When  you 


64  POPULAR  LECTURES  of  SAM  P.  JONES 

and  I  go  up  into  the  presence  of  a  Merciful 
God,  with  penitence  and  prayer,  He  will 
take  us  in  His  own  loving  hands  and  set 
the  Ten  Commandments  to  music  in  our 
souls,  and  every  Christian  duty  to  music  in 
our  lives,  so  that  ever  afterwards  when  God 
or  the  law  shall  touch  a  chord  of  our  nature 
it  will  vibrate  and  make  music  that  would 
charm  an  angePs  ear. 

Some  men  say  God  did  not  make  them; 
that  they  came  up  through  evolution.  I 
have  wondered,  if  that  was  true,  when 
Nature  would  evolute  again,  and  would  it 
be  a  boy  or  a  girl  next  time.  I  do  not  be- 
lieve that  we  came  from  animalcules  to  tad- 
poles, and  from  tadpoles  to  lizards,  and 
from  lizards  to  squirrels,  and  from  squirrels 
to  monkeys,  and  from  monkeys  to  men. 
Sometimes  I  believe  in  inverted  evolution. 
For  when  I  have  seen  some  men  I 
have  thought  they  were  headed  towards 
monkeys. 

There  can  be  no  well-rounded  character 
without  the  harmony  of  forces.  Liberty  is 
synonymous  here  with  the  word  harmony. 
Liberty  means  the  privilege  of  doing  right. 
License  means  you  may  do  wrong  if  you  pay 
the  penalty.  There  is  no  liberty  outside  of 
the  boundary  lines  of  the  law.     God  has 


CHARACTER  AND  CHARACTERS   65 

reserved  for  Himself  no  higher  privilege 
than  the  privilege  of  doing  right.  God 
never  moves  in  the  realm  of  license,  because 
He  does  not  want  to  do  wrong.  Therefore, 
I  say,  the  best  thing  a  man  ever  did  is  to  do 
right,  no  matter  what  he  may  have  lost  in 
money  or  so-called  friends  or  political  power 
or  social  prestige.  The  worst  thing  a  man 
ever  did  is  to  do  wrong,  no  matter  how  much 
money  he  made  or  how  much  power  he 
acquired.  Nothing  will  beat  doing  right. 
Nothing  is  worse  than  doing  wrong. 

I  have  been  hunting  diligently  for  thirty 
years  for  a  man  who  had  found  something 
that  would  beat  doing  right.  I  have  found 
only  one  and  I  met  him  a  short  while  after- 
wards and  he  said  the  thing  had  busted  bad. 
It  would  not  work. 

Character  like  everything  else  involving 
principle  must  have  foundation.  Heaven  is 
topless,  but  it  has  an  enduring  foundation. 
Hell  is  bottomless;  it  needs  no  foundation, 
for  there  is  not  a  principle  involved  in  the 
whole  shebang  from  top  to  bottom.  Our 
Saviour  guarded  us  at  this  point  when  He 
told  us  about  the  man  who  built  his  house 
on  the  sand,  and  when  the  rains  and  storms 
beat  upon  it,  it  fell,  and  fell  just  at  the  time 
that  the  poor  fellow  most  needed  a  house. 


66     POPULAR  LECTURES  o^SAM  P.  JONES 

Then  He  told  us  of  the  man  who  built  his 
house  upon  the  rock,  and  when  the  storms 
and  winds  came,  it  stood  and  stood  just  at 
the  time  when  he  most  needed  the  house. 
However  calm  and  quiet  this  day  may  be 
with  us,  we  may  be  sure  that  the  storm  will 
come  by  and  by.  Therefore  let's  look  well 
to  foundations. 

If  I  were  seeking  an  enduring  foundation 
for  character,  on  what  would  I  rest  it?  You 
cannot  make  intellect  the  basis  of  char- 
acter, because  some  of  the  most  intellectual 
people  I  ever  knew  had  no  character.  Nor 
can  you  make  the  will  the  basis  of  charac- 
ter, because  some  of  the  most  self-willed 
people  I  ever  saw  were  characterless. 
Neither  can  you  make  conscience  the  basis 
of  character,  because  conscience  is  largely  a 
thing  of  education,  somew^hat  like  the  fellow 
who  said,  when  he  first  joined  the  church, 
that  any  little  thing  he  did  wrong  turned 
his  conscience,  but  he  said,  "  I  have  got  so 
now  I  can  steal  a  horse  and  it  doesn't  bother 
me  at  all."  Therefore  the  will,  the  intellect, 
or  the  conscience  cannot  be  made  the 
foundation  of  character. 

If  I  was  seeking  an  enduring  foundation 
on  which  to  rest  character,  I  would  make 
the  affections  the  basis,  for  what  a  man 


CHARACTER  AND  CHARACTERS   67 

loves  and  what  a  man  hates  determines  his 
character,  and  a  man's  power  to  love  deter- 
mines his  immortality. 

After  placing  a  permanent  foundation  for 
character  I  would  build  on  this  wise.  High 
over  all  I  would  put  the  law;  right  under 
the  law  I  would  put  the  conscience,  and 
right  under  the  conscience  I  would  put  the 
will,  and  under  the  will  I  w^ould  put  the  af- 
fections. Now  let  law,  with  its  radiating 
light,  fall  down  upon  a  well-enlightened 
conscience,  then  let  a  well-enlightened  con- 
science get  a  good  grip  on  the  will,  and 
through  the  will  subjugate  the  affections, 
until  the  man  loves  everything  that  is  right 
and  hates  everything  that  is  wrong,  then  he 
will  have  a  foundation  as  indestructible  as 
the  soul  is  immortal. 

Now,  having  laid  the  foundation  well,  I 
would  build  character  like  they  builded  the 
Temple  of  old,  without  the  sound  of  a  ham- 
mer, and  the  first  stone  I  would  put  on  that 
foundation  would  be  faith.  Faith  in  God, 
faith  in  His  Word,  faith  in  my  fellowman, 
and  faith  in  myself.  Faith  affirms,  asserts, 
declares.  Doubt  denies.  One  affirms,  the 
other  is  negative;  no  character  was  ever 
builded  by  negations.  The  man  who  says, 
/  helieve^  and  feels  it  in  his  blood  and  bones, 


68  POPULAR  LECTURES  of  SAM  P.  JONES 

is  omnipotent.  He  who  dallies  is  a  dastard, 
and  he  who  doubts  is  damned. 

Christian  character  is  the  highest  type  of 
character  in  this  world.  The  greatest 
statesman  this  world  has  ever  known  was 
the  humble,  trusting,  Bible-reading,  praying 
William  E.  Gladstone  of  England.  The 
world's  greatest  ruler  was  the  kindly,  pray- 
ing, godly,  consecrated  Queen  Victoria  of 
England.  The  world's  greatest  warrior,  in 
my  judgment,  was  the  pious,  God-loving, 
and  God-serving  Robert  E.  Lee  of  Virginia. 

Christianity  is  but  the  science  of  charac- 
ter building  and  its  laws  regulate  and  its 
precepts  guide  a  life  up  into  the  highest 
realms  of  true  character. 

With  that  stone  w^ell  down  on  the  founda- 
tion, the  next  stone  I  would  lay  on  that 
would  be  courage.  Not  so  much  the  phys- 
ical courage,  that  faces  cannon  and  listens 
to  the  rattle  of  musketry  unmoved,  but  the 
moral  courage  that  flies  in  the  face  of  a 
vicious  public  opinion  and  stands  for  the 
right.  We  learn  in  biographies  of  the  great 
and  good,  that  God  never  chose  a  man  to  do 
and  dare  for  Him  that  moral  courage  was 
not  the  supreme  element  in  the  character 
of  that  man.  Abraham,  Daniel,  and  St. 
Paul  are  but  examples  in  the  line  of  heroes 


CHARACTER  AND  CHARACTERS   69 

who  developed  the  highest  characters.  Cow- 
ardice weakens,  debilitates,  and  defeats.  I 
repeat  it,  it  is  not  the  courage  that  fights 
with  sword  or  gun,  but  it  is  the  courage 
that  makes  a  young  man  say,  "  No,  boys, 
I  won't  do  that.  I  would  not  bring  a  care 
to  my  mother's  heart  for  all  you  will  get  out 
of  that."  The  courage  that  makes  a  young 
girl  say,  "  No,  I  will  not  go  with  you.  I 
would  not  bring  a  sorrow  to  my  father's 
heart  for  ten  thousand  times  all  you  would 
get  out  of  that."  The  courage  that  would 
rather  be  right  than  rich;  rather  be  pure 
than  be  a  prince;  had  rather  have  a  con- 
science void  of  offence  than  own  the  world. 
With  that  stone  well  laid,  the  next  one 
I  would  lay  on  that  would  be  knowledge, 
for  knowledge  is  the  handmaid  of  char- 
acter to  dress  its  charms  and  make  it  lovely. 
Ignorance  may  be  bliss,  but  it  is  not  char- 
acter. Sanctified  knowledge  is  the  most 
potent  weapon  in  the  hands  of  the  good. 
I  do  not  mean  by  knowledge  so  much  the 
stuffing  of  the  curriculum  of  a  college  in 
the  head  of  a  boy,  for  I  have  seen  a  man 
who  spoke  seven  languages  fluently,  yet  he 
would  tell  a  lie  three  times  out  of  five  as 
he  talked.  I  do  not  mean  the  knowledge 
that  comes  so  much  in  the  research  of  books, 


70  POPULAR  LECTURES  of  SAM  P.  JONES 

but  the  knowledge  which  teaches  how  to  do 
all  good,  and  at  the  same  time  teaches  us 
how  to  shun  the  wrong;  the  knowledge  of 
good  and  evil.  In  the  absence  of  knowledge, 
superstition  and  prejudice  have  the  field. 
But  wisdom  teaches  us  how  to  think,  and 
what  to  think,  and  what  to  do. 

With  that  stone  w^ell  laid,  the  next  one 
that  fits  down  on  that,  without  the  sound  of 
a  hammer,  is  temperance.  Not  simply  the 
abstinence  from  intoxicating  drinks;  not 
that  something  that  prevents  gluttony  in 
eating,  but  it  is  a  balance  wheel  of  human 
life  and  character.  That  something  that 
regulates  the  life  and  makes  me  as  good  on 
Monday  as  I  am  on  Sunday.  That  some- 
thing that  enables  me  to  do  well  whatever 
I  undertake,  and  leave  nothing  till  to-mor- 
row that  I  can  accomplish  to-day.  It  is  the 
balance  wheel  of  the  machinery  of  human 
life,  that  regulates  its  movements. 

With  that  stone  well  down,  the  next  one 
that  fits  on  that  is  patience.  Patience  has 
to  do  with  temper,  and  temper  gives  ring 
and  resistance  to  mettle.  No  matter  what 
passions  may  have  manifested  themselves 
in  vengeance  or  hatred,  patience  tempers 
and  tones  and  regulates  so  that  a  man  can 
be  an  anvil,  to  be  struck,  as  well  as  to  be 


CHARACTER  AND  CHARACTERS   71 

the  hammer  that  strikes;  to  be  an  anvil 
when  he  ought  to  be  an  anvil,  and  a  ham- 
mer when  he  ought  to  be  a  hammer.  Pa- 
tience is  in  its  perfection  in  the  home  life. 
Mother,  if  you  had  a  little  more  patience, 
you  would  be  the  best  mother,  and  if  you 
had  patience  enough,  you  would  be  a  grand- 
mother some  day.  Patience  and  quiet  are 
twin  sisters.  He  who  is  the  most  patient 
has  the  best  control  of  the  tongue,  for  we 
scarcely  ever  let  temper  get  from  under  con- 
trol until  the  tongue  has  started  on  its  mis- 
sion of  deadly  work.  Patience  is  the  gentle 
hand  we  lay  upon  the  turbulent  spirit,  and 
calm  it  like  the  strokes  of  the  master  horse- 
man calm  the  spirit  of  a  wild  and  vicious 
horse.  Give  me  plenty  of  temper,  but  give 
me  absolute  mastery  of  it,  and  I  will  do  no 
harm.  There  is  no  more  unseemly  sight 
than  a  mother  on  a  tear  with  her  temper ;  a 
father  giving  vent  to  unseemly  passions  in 
his  home.  "A  soft  answer  turneth  away 
wrath.''  We  can  always  control  our  tem- 
pers if  we  control  our  mouths,  and  vice 
versa. 

The  next  stone  I  would  lay  down  on 
patience  is  God-likeness.  This  much  I 
know :  the  more  I  am  like  God  in  thought, 
in  life,  in  character,  the  farther  I  am  away 


72  POPULAR  LECTURES  of  SAM  P.  JONES 

from  things  which  debauch,  and  the  nearer 
I  am  to  every  helpful  influence  that  en- 
nobles character  and  develops  the  good  that 
is  in  me.  There  is  no  higher  type  of  char- 
acter than  we  find  with  those  who  walk 
and  talk  with  God. 

The  next  stone  that  fits  on  that  is  broth- 
erly love.  Every  man,  my  brother;  every 
woman,  my  sister.  Each  members  of  a  com- 
mon family,  for  we  are  all  brothers.  Many 
of  us,  however,  think  we  are  but  step- 
brothers, not  kin  to  each  other.  Like  the 
old  Christian  sitting  on  the  roadside,  who 
had  just  taken  the  lid  off  of  his  dinner 
bucket  to  eat  dinner.  An  old  tramp  walked 
up  and  said,  "  Mister,  give  me  a  little  piece 
of  bread.  I  have  no  money,  no  home,  no 
bread."  The  old  Christian  cut  him  a  slice 
of  bread  and  started  to  hand  it  to  him,  but 
said,  "  Before  I  give  it  to  you,  I  will  ask  the 
blessing.''  He  looked  up  and  said,  "  Our 
Father,  which  is  in  heaven,  bless  this  bread 
we  eat.  Amen."  The  old  tramp  looked  at 
him,  and  said,  "Our  Father  in  heaven?" 
"  Yes,"  said  the  old  Christian,  "  He  is  our 
Father."  "  Then,"  said  the  old  tramp,  "  if 
He  is  our  Father,  we  are  brothers,  aint 
we?  "  The  old  Christian  replied,  "  Yes,  we 
are  brothers."    Then  spoke  the  old  tramp, 


CHARACTER  AND  CHARACTERS   73 

"  If  we  are  brothers,  cut  me  a  thicker  piece 
of  bread,  and  put  some  meat  on  it."  My 
idea  of  brotherly  love  is  this.  I  have  two 
brothers  in  the  flesh.  If  either  of  them  had 
a  bed  in  his  home,  a  plate  at  his  table,  a 
dollar  in  his  pocket,  or  a  drop  of  blood  in 
his  veins  too  good  for  me  when  I  should  need 
it,  the  same  I  would  not  call  my  brother  at 
all.  We  are  brothers  and  we  should  be  kind. 
There  is  not  a  sweeter,  fuller,  better  word 
in  all  the  world  than  kindness.  It  was 
simple  kindness  that  always  made  my 
mother's  voice  to  me  as  sweet  as  an  seolian 
harp.  It  was  mother's  kindness  that  always 
made  the  touch  of  her  hand  to  me  as  soft 
and  gentle  as  the  zephyrs  put  in  motion  by 
the  angels'  wings.  For  kindness  is  the 
mother  of  sentiment,  and  sentiment  is  the 
divinest  element  in  man.  For  it  is  senti- 
ment that  lends  beauty  to  the  landscape, 
glory  to  a  sunset,  and  fragrance  to  the  rose. 
He  who  has  the  most  of  sentiment  is  closest 
akin  to  his  mother,  and  he  who  is  closest 
akin  to  his  mother  is  closest  akin  to  God. 

And  now  the  building  is  finished,  except 
the  keystone  which  we  drop  into  the  arch, — 
Charity.  Charity  is  the  crowning  virtue. 
It  is  the  keystone  of  the  arch  and  not  only 
holds    together,    but    ties    together,    and 


74  POPULAR  LECTURES  of  SAM  P.  JONES 

strengthens  and  ennobles  every  stone  in 
the  great  arch.  Love  to  God  and  love  to 
man.  Love  in  the  home  and  love  in  the 
church.  Love  in  the  world  is  not  only  the 
force  that  brings  us  together  in  sympathy 
and  effort,  but  it  is  the  crowning  grace  of 
virtue,  for  God  Himself  is  Love.  A  well- 
developed  character  is  the  most  beautiful 
and  symmetrical  thing  in  the  world.  A  lop- 
sided character  is  the  most  unseemly.  Look 
on  the  broad,  generous,  noble,  splendid 
royal  character,  then  look  on  the  little,  nar- 
row, contracted,  selfish,  useless  character, 
and  we  have  the  two  in  the  picture  I  now 
give. 

See  the  little  streamlet  as  it  leaps  down 
the  mountain  side,  and  passes  along  in  its 
healthful  activity,  and  it  passes  near  a  pool 
or  pond,  and  the  old  pond  hails  it  and  says, 
"Whither  away,  master  streamlet?"  The 
little  streamlet  replies,  "  I  am  going  to  the 
river  to  bear  this  cup  of  water  which  God 
has  given  me.''  The  old  pond  smiles  in  its 
complacency,  "  Ah,  you  poor  foolish  thing. 
We  have  had  a  backward  spring  and  we 
will  have  a  hot  summer  to  pay  for  it,  and 
you  will  be  dried  up  then."  "  Well,"  said 
the  little  streamlet,  "  if  I  am  to  die  so  soon, 
I  will  use  this  blessing  for  the  good  of 


CHARACTER  AND  CHARACTERS   75 

others  while  I  have  it/'  The  old  pond 
smiled  again,  and  threw  its  arms  around  all 
it  had,  and  said,  "  I  won't  let  one  drop  get 
away.  I  know  I  will  need  it  for  myself  by 
and  by.'' 

And  by  and  by  the  hot  sun  did  come  down, 
hotter  and  hotter  still,  and  how  about  the 
little  streamlet?  The  trees  lined  its  verdant 
course,  locked  its  boughs  upon  its  bosom, 
and  would  not  let  a  ray  of  the  sun  touch  the 
little  streamlet.  The  cattle  sipped  its  tide; 
the  birds  sung  its  praise,  and  it  went  on  re- 
joicing in  its  useful  verdant  course.  And 
how  about  the  old  pond?  The  sun  poured 
down  on  its  bosom,  hotter  and  hotter  still, 
and  by  and  by  the  old  pond  began  to  breed 
malaria,  and  the  winds  scattered  the  ma- 
laria over  the  settlement,  and  the  people 
had  chills  and  fever.  By  and  by  the  sun 
came  hotter  still,  then  the  frogs  cast  their 
venom  on  its  bosom.  The  cattle  met  at  its 
brink  and  would  not  touch  its  water,  and 
the  birds  flew  away  without  a  note  of  praise. 
Then  by  and  by  God  smote  it  with  a  hotter 
breath,  and  dried  it  up  from  the  face  of  the 
earth. 

And  how  about  the  little  streamlet?  It 
ran  on  to  the  river,  and  gave  all  it  had  to  the 
river,  and  the  river  caught  it  up  and  carried 


76  POPULAR  LECTURES  of  SAM  P.  JONES 

it  to  the  ocean,  and  the  ocean  sent  up  its  in- 
cense to  greet  the  skies,  then  the  winds,  like 
waiting  steeds,  caught  up  the  clouds  and 
carried  it  thither  until  it  stood  right  over 
the  little  streamlet^s  mouth,  then  God  tipped 
the  cup  and  poured  the  water  back  into  the 
mouth  of  the  little  streamlet.  Then  the 
streamlet,  with  its  renewed  life  and  vigor, 
passed  on  down  near  the  old  pond,  now 
dried  up.     As  it  passed  it  began  to  sing : 

"  Old  ponds  may  come, 
And  old  ponds  may  go, 
But  I  run  on  forever," 


IV 

MANHOOD  AND  MONEY 

THE  biggest  thing  in  the  universe  is  a 
well-rounded,  royal,  splendid  man. 
The  smallest  thing  in  the  universe  is 
the  person  whom  greed  has  dwindled,  and 
money  has  minimized.  True  manhood  is  hu- 
manity at  its  highest  point.  There  is  noth- 
ing better  than  character;  there  is  nothing 
lower  than  greed.  When  God  makes  a 
royal,  splendid  man.  He  makes  him  as  nigh 
like  Himself  as  He  can.  When  the  devil 
fills  us  with  greed,  he  makes  us  as  nigh  like 
himself  as  he  can. 

The  miser  who  spends  his  whole  life  ac- 
cumulating his  money,  and  in  his  old  age 
sits  down  upon  his  fortune  with  no  capacity 
for  enjoying  it,  is  a  monumental  fool.  I 
repeat  it,  the  curse  of  this  age  is  we  have 
put  gold  above  God,  chattels  above  charac- 
ter, and  mammon  above  manhood.  We 
have  inverted  God's  order  of  things,  and 
money  is  on  top  and  manhood  at  the  bot- 
tom. Happy  is  the  man  who  enthrones  God 
77 


78  POPULAR  LECTURES  of  SAM  P.  JONES 

above  gold,  manhood  above  money,  and  char- 
acter above  chattels.  Then  he  is  moving 
along,  "  right  side  up  with  care." 

It  is  historically  true  that  whatever  a 
nation  or  a  man  has  made  its  ideal,  if  that 
ideal  be  wrong,  at  last  it  has  fallen  down 
under  its  ideal  and  died.  Greece  focalised 
her  life  and  centralised  her  whole  being  in 
her  literature,  and  at  last  poor  old  Greece 
turned  up  her  toes  and  died  under  a  book. 
Rome  centralised  her  life  and  focalised  her 
whole  being  in  her  military  power,  and  noth- 
ing but  a  spear  now  marks  the  final  resting 
place  of  Rome.  America  has  concentrated 
all  her  energies  upon  the  dollar,  and  shall 
we  at  last  lie  buried  under  a  silver  dollar, 
the  intrinsic  value  of  which  is  about  forty- 
eight  cents? 

One  splendid,  royal  man  will  give  more 
character,  and  add  more  to  the  history  of 
a  country,  than  all  its  products  for  a  hun- 
dred years.  Gladstone  gave  more  character 
to  England  than  all  England's  commerce 
for  a  century.  George  Washington  gave 
more  character  to  America,  and  added  more 
to  her  history,  than  Wall  Street  can  do  in  a 
thousand  years.  America  will  live  on  be- 
cause of  her  Washingtons,  her  Jeffer- 
sons,  her  Jacksons,  her  Lincolns,  and  not 


MANHOOD  AND  MONEY  79 

because  of  her  Vanderbilts,  Astors,  and 
Rockefellers. 

A  man  may  be  both  rich  and  great.  He 
must  be  if  he  shall  live.  Abraham  was 
wealthy  beyond  the  dream  of  our  million- 
aires, and  yet  his  character  was  such  that 
we  know  him  only  as  the  Father  of  the 
Faithful,  and  not  as  the  wealthiest  of  the 
wealthy.  Manhood  is  enduring,  is  immor- 
tal; nothing  else  is. 

A  gentleman  asked  another  some  time 
ago,  "  How  much  property  did  Mr.  So-and- 
So  leave?  ''  His  friend  replied,  "  He  left  all 
he  had.  He  didn't  take  a  dollar  with  him." 
It  is  not  what  we  leave,  but  what  we  carry 
with  us.  Manhood  belongs  to  both  worlds. 
Lands  and  stocks  and  bonds  and  moneys 
belong  to  only  one  world.  This  is  demon- 
strated in  the  fact  that  the  rich  man  whom 
the  Bible  calls  Dives,  when  he  left  this 
world,  was  without  means  by  which  he 
could  procure  one  drop  of  water  to  cool  his 
parching  tongue,  while  the  poor  man,  Laz- 
arus, that  fed  upon  the  crumbs  that  fell 
from  the  rich  man's  table,  and  whose  only 
doctor  was  the  dogs  that  licked  his  sores, 
when  he  left,  joined  the  companionship  of 
those  who  were  recognised  as  kings  in  both 
worlds. 


80  POPULAR  LECTURES  of  SAM  P.  JONES 

A  father  may  not  have  done  mneh  for  his 
boy  when  he  endowed  him  with  riches,  but 
a  father  has  done  the  most  and  the  best  for 
his  boy  when  he  rears  him  rightly  and 
starts  him  out  at  twenty-one  with  a  charac- 
ter as  solid  and  a  life  as  pure  as  that  of 
King  Josiah.  Agur  was  right  when  he 
prayed  "  O,  Lord,  give  me  neither  poverty 
nor  riches,''  for  poverty  handicaps  and 
riches  demoralise  manhood.  A  father  and 
mother  who  skimp  and  skin  and  save  and 
lay  up  for  their  children;  who  deny  them- 
selves of  real  comforts  of  life,  in  order  that 
their  children  may  have  their  accumulation 
of  money,  have  reached  the  height  of  folly. 
If  your  boy  is  of  any  account,  he  does  not 
need  a  dollar  you  may  give  him;  and  if  he 
is  of  no  account,  every  dollar  you  leave  him 
will  sink  him. 

Money  is  valuable  only  as  it  helps  to  de- 
velop the  manhood  in  you.  It  is  a  curse 
when  it  is  used  for  any  other  reason.  Our 
money  to  us  should  be  what  the  wings  of  a 
bird  are  to  it.  Simply  the  best  means  to 
reach  the  end,  or  like  a  railroad  train,  sim- 
ply a  vehicle  or  thing  to  carry  me  where  I 
want  to  go.  There  is  no  virtue  in  poverty, 
or  any  vice  in  riches.  It  is  in  the  use 
we  may  put  it  to.     We  may  shine  in  the 


MANHOOD  AND  MONEY  81 

midst  of  either,  or  we  may  ride  them  to 
ruin. 

There  is  something  about  one  honestly 
earned  dollar  that  is  worth  a  million,  if 
there  is  a  dirty  shilling  in  the  pile.  Almost 
any  fellow  can  make  money,  but  only  the 
wise  and  good  man  knows  how  to  use  it. 
The  secret  of  accumulation  is  simply  to  hold 
to  what  you  get.  Prodigality  is  as  really  a 
manifestation  of  selfishness  as  stinginess; 
wherever  the  object  is  simply  self,  whether 
self  puts  it  in  its  pocket  or  spends  it  on 
appetite  or  passion,  the  effect  on  the  person 
is  about  the  same. 

One  of  the  most  marvellous  wills  in  his- 
tory was  that  made  by  one  of  our  Southern 
bishops.  By  reason  of  his  position,  he  had 
opportunity  to  accumulate  quite  a  fortune. 
But  when  he  came  to  his  last  hours  and 
made  his  will,  he  simply  said,  after  com- 
mending his  spirit  to  God  through  Christ, 
"  I  give  and  bequeath  to  my  faithful  wife, 
my  little  farm  over  in  South  Carolina.  To 
my  widowed  daughter  and  orphan  children, 
the  income  on  my  books.  To  my  other  chil- 
dren," giving  their  names  in  order,  "  I  give 
nothing,  not  for  the  want  of  love,  but  for  the 
lack  of  means.'' 

The  world  of  commerce  and  the  marts  of 


82  POPULAR  LECTURES  of  SAM  P.  JONES 

trade  furnish  the  battle  field.  The  force  on 
the  one  side  is  greed  and  gain.  On  the  other 
side,  it  is  character  and  manhood.  What- 
ever may  add  to  my  greed  or  multiply  my 
gain,  hurts  character,  and  whatever  shall 
build  up  my  character  and  my  manhood  is 
the  thing  to  be  sought  at  the  expense  of 
money,  ease,  comfort,  and  everything. 

The  best  sign  of  the  times  I  see  is  the 
fact  that  the  spirit  of  benevolence  grows 
among  men.  The  millions  contributed  to 
the  various  charitable  and  benevolent  causes 
can  hardly  be  computed  year  by  year. 
Think  of  one  man,  who  has  contributed 
nearly  two  hundred  millions.  Another 
nearly  one  hundred  millions  and  scores 
have  given  from  five  to  twenty  millions. 
Hospitals,  training  schools,  colleges,  li- 
braries, orphanages,  etc.;  the  aggregate 
annual  benevolences  to  all  these  pile  up 
a  sum  that  makes  us  stagger  to  look  upon. 
But  after  all  it  is  better  to  be  good  than 
great,  better  to  be  right  than  rich,  and  bet- 
ter to  have  a  conscience  void  of  offence  to 
God  and  man  than  to  own  the  world. 

Riches  are  sordid,  manhood  is  made  up 
of  the  best  stuff  in  the  world.  Honour,  in- 
tegrity, uprightness,  benevolence,  kindness, 
temperance,  love,  are  some  of  the  ingredi- 


MANHOOD  AND  MONEY  83 

ents  that  make  man  immortal,  and  these  ele- 
ments dominated  by  a  will  that  commands 
the  situation ;  an  inflexible  will,  not  dogged 
stubbornness;  an  imperious  will,  not  hard- 
headedness,  but  a  will  that  chooses  right, 
and  after  that  choice  is  made,  abides  the 
choice.  A  will  that  chooses  not  to  do  wrong, 
and  stays  by  the  choice,  conscious  that  there 
isn't  enough  money  coined  to  change  it,  or 
bullets  enough  moulded  to  alter  the  deter- 
mination, and  wherever  intelligence,  cour- 
age, mind,  is  dominated  by  such  a  will,  and 
fostered  and  fed  by  every  element  that  be- 
longs to  an  upright  man,  the  result  is  a 
first-class  character,  and  there  is  nothing 
higher,  nothing  better,  than  that. 

Take  Governor  Nichols,  of  Louisiana. 
When  he  was  Governor  of  the  State,  there 
was  a  bill  for  re-chartering  the  Louisiana 
State  Lottery,  and  a  more  infamous  thing 
never  cursed  the  American  Republic  than 
that.  Five  years  before  the  bill  came  up 
for  renewing  the  charter  I  was  preaching 
in  New  Orleans,  and  the  first  four  days  the 
newspapers  reported  me  pretty  well.  The 
fifth  I  struck  the  Lottery,  and,  God  bless 
you,  the  papers  dropped  me  like  a  hot  cake. 
They  never  knew  I  was  in  town  any  more. 
They  sprung  the  question,  and  I  began  the 


84   POPULAR  LECTURES  of  SAM  P.  JONES 

fight,  and  some  of  them  gave  me  credit  for 
starting  the  ball  in  motion,  there  in  New 
Orleans,  against  that  infamous  scheme. 
Now  they  had  the  Legislature,  or  as  many 
as  they  wanted  of  them — they  had  bought 
them  just  like  sheep  or  mules,  so  much  a 
head,  and  when  they  had  the  majority  of  the 
Legislature,  and  everything  was  coming 
their  way,  then  they  found  out  some  way 
that  the  old  Governor  was  going  to  veto  the 
bill.  So  they  walked  into  the  Governor's 
ofSce,  and  began  to  talk  to  him,  and  they 
carried  him  out  on  a  high  hill,  and  showed 
him  all  the  kingdoms  of  the  world,  and  some 
one  showed  him  that  there  was  a  million 
of  cash  in  it,  if  he  wanted  it,  and  the  old 
Governor  saw  what  they  were  up  to.  He 
reached  over  and  got  his  crutch,  and  shoved 
it  under  his  arm,  and  spoke  up,  and  said, 
"  Gentlemen,  I  see  what  you  are  up  to.  This 
leg  went  off  at  the  Battle  of  Manassas,  this 
arm  went  off  at  the  Battle  of  Sharpsburg, 
and  this  eye  went  out  at  Richmond ;  but,  gen- 
tlemen, poor  as  I  am,  I  want  to  say  to  you, 
you  can  crush  this  other  leg  off  here,  and 
this  other  arm  off  here  at  the  joints,  and  jab 
this  other  eye  out,  and  I  will  go  through 
this  life  eyeless,  and  legless,  and  armless, 
to  a  pauper's  grave,  but  there  ain't  money 


MANHOOD  AND  MONEY  85 

enough  on  earth  to  buy  me.    Get  out  of  my 
office ;  get  out  of  my  office.'' 

The  highest  type  of  manhood  is  to  help  a 
brother  in  need.  It  is  to  me  a  beautiful 
story,  and  I  want  you  to  hear  it  in  closing. 
I  think  I  have  run  up  on  some  things  con- 
nected with  human  life  as  beautiful  as  the 
stars  and  as  fragrant  as  a  flower  garden.. 
And  these  beautiful  things  that  memory 
takes  hold  of  now  have  all  come  to  the  sur- 
face as  diamonds  in  the  rough,  and  they  all 
belong  to  the  sturdy,  stalwart  men  who  pull 
the  throttle  and  bell  cord  of  our  railroads. 
Take  this  one  instance :  In  the  collision  near 
Adairsville,  Ga.,  some  months  ago,  Engineer 
Dobbs  was  mortally  hurt.  He  was  lying  on 
an  improvised  litter  at  Adairsville,  when 
No.  93  rolled  down  to  the  depot  and  stopped. 
Engineer  Dobbs  looked  up  at  the  approach- 
ing engine  and  said,  "  That's  Van  Bell  on 
that  engine,  isn't  it?  "  They  answered  in 
the  affirmative.  He  said,  "  I  want  to  see 
Van."  The  wounded  engineer  was  carried 
back  to  the  sleeping  car.  Van  Bell  got  the 
summons.  He  stepped  down  off  of  his  en- 
gine, and  followed  his  brother  engineer  to 
the  sleeping  car,  and  walked  into  the  car 
among  the  many  passengers  with  his  over- 
alls on,  and  the  smut  of  his  engine  on  his 


86  POPULAR  LECTURES  of  SAM  P.  JONES 

face.  He  kneeled  by  the  wounded  brother 
engineer's  side,  and  said,  ^'  What  can  I  do 
for  you/'  The  dying  man  said,  "  I  want 
you  to  pray  for  me."  And  the  Christian  en- 
gineer knelt  down  in  the  sleeping  car  among 
all  the  passengers,  and  lifted  his  voice  in 
earnest  prayer  to  God  for  the  soul  of  his 
dying  brother.  He  prayed  earnestly  and 
fervently,  and  remained  with  him  fifteen  or 
twenty  minutes,  until  the  wounded  engineer 
told  him  that  he  accepted  the  offered  Christ, 
and  surrendered  his  heart  to  Him.  Then 
Van  Bell  bade  him  hold  onto  God  by  faith, 
and  when  he  was  going  back  to  his  engine, 
the  conductor  said  to  him,  "  Van,  we  have 
lost  twenty  minutes."  Van  replied,  "  Yes, 
but  what  is  that?  "  I  had  rather  lose  my 
job  and  help  a  dying  brother  get  right  with 
God,  than  to  hold  onto  my  job  and  neglect 
my  brother." 


V 

RAVAGES  OF  RUM 

I  BELIEVE  that  in  the  very  nature  of 
things  there  will  be  issues  between  men 
always,  but  I  like  a  man;  year  in  and 
year  out,  up  or  down,  straight  or  crooked, 
let  him  be  a  man.  As  a  speaker  I  must 
take  sides.  Now  you  needn't  ask  me  which 
side  of  the  question  I  am  on;  just  slip  up 
and  get  the  great  ear  of  God  Almighty,  and 
ask  him  which  side  He  is  on,  then  you 
needn't  come  back  to  me  at  all ;  just  put  me 
down  on  the  side  God  says  he  is  on.  If 
you  want  to  know  which  side  I  am  on,  you 
go  to  any  good  mother  in  this  town  and  ask 
her  which  side  she  is  on,  and  then  you 
needn't  come  back  to  me ;  just  put  me  down 
with  that  good  mother.  If  you  want  to 
know  which  side  I  am  on,  you  go  to  that 
sweet,  old  mother,  that  many  of  us  have  in 
this  world,  and  whisper  up  in  her  ear,  and 
ask  her  which  side  of  this  fight  she  is  on, 
and  you  may  put  me  down  on  her  side  with- 
out asking  me  any  questions  at  all. 
87 


88  POPULAR  LECTURES  of  SAM  P.  JONES 

Now  if  I  take  the  side  that  God  is  on,  and 
every  sweet,  good  wife  is  on,  and  the  old 
mothers  that  have  gone  over  into  the  better 
world  are  on — if  I  am  on  their  side,  I  can't 
be  very  wrong,  can  I  ? 

Now  let  us  talk  like  good  neighbors  and 
friends.  Which  side  are  you  on?  I  wish 
you  could  see  every  fellow  in  God  Al- 
mighty's world  that  is  on  the  side  of  liquor, 
and  see  them  march  out  into  line,  and  if  you 
will  march  with  that  gang,  I  want  to  tell 
you,  you  aint  fit  to  associate  with  a  buzzard. 
Now  that  is  the  truth.  Now  if  you  will 
just  look  at  your  crowd  that  is  lined  up 
with  you ;  there  ain't  a  dirty  old  bum  saloon- 
keeper, there  ain't  a  crooked  old  devil  that 
wants  to  make  money  on  liquor,  there  ain't 
a  dirty,  disreputable  negro  in  town  that  ain't 
on  your  side ;  and  when  you  march  out  with 
your  gang,  then  I  want  to  tell  you,  you  ain't 
fit  for  sausage — ^you  ain't  fit  for  bologna; 
you  are  eleven-tenths  dog,  all  the  animal  in 
you  is  dog,  and  the  human  has  turned  to 
dog,  and  that  makes  the  other  eleventh,  and 
you  are  eleven-tenths  dog.  There  are  some 
fellows  living  here  in  this  town,  that  if  they 
had  some  more  hair  and  a  tail  they  would 
go  to  running  rabbits  to-night.  Now,  I  don't 
mean  any  reflection  on  a  decent  pointer  dog 


RAVAGES  OF  RUM  89 

when  I  am  talking  about  that,  and  making 
the  comparison ;  I  don't  want  you  to  think 
that  I  have  let  down  at  a  respectable  dog 
when  I  compare  some  fellows  to  him,  and 
I  want  us  to  stay  in  a  perfectly  good 
humour,  because  I  want  to  tell  you  whiskey 
fellows  you  won't  get  any  fight  out  of  me; 
I  won't  fight  you  at  all. 

I  want  to  say  to  you  gentlemen,  I  came  to 
you  just  like  I  go  everywhere  else.  I  have 
got  no  ill  will  or  unkindness  towards  any 
man  on  this  earth;  there  aint  a  man  in  the 
county,  of  any  name  and  age,  that  I  would 
not  go  down  on  my  knees  at  his  side  to-day 
and  pray  God  to  give  him  as  good  a  home 
in  heaven  as  I  would  ask  Him  to  give  me,  or 
my  wife  or  children.  I  never  fight  men, 
never  fight  anything,  except  the  thing  that 
hurts  men,  and  breaks  the  hearts  of  good 
women,  and  brings  sadness  to  the  human 
race.  Those  are  the  only  things  I  fight  in 
the  world ;  and  if  any  of  you  are  offended  at 
anything  I  say,  if  you  will  come  up  to  me 
like  a  man,  when  I  am  through,  and  beg 
my  pardon,  I  will  forgive  you,  because  I 
never  bear  malice  towards  anybody,  and  we 
ought  to  make  it  up  before  we  go  out. 

Now  there  are  three  ways  by  which  whis- 
key is  dispensed  in  this  country.    You  are 


90  POPULAR  LECTURES  of  SAM  P.  JONES 

listening  to  a  man  that  is  fiftj-eight  years 
old ;  gentlemen,  I  have  gone  over  this  great 
country  of  ours  for  thirty-five  years,  from 
ocean  to  ocean,  and  from  lake  to  gulf;  I 
have  gone  with  both  eyes  open,  with  both 
ears  open,  and  I  have  seen  and  I  have  heard, 
and  I  know  what  I  am  talking  about.  The 
worst  thing  this  side  of  the  gaping  gates  of 
damnation  is  the  wide  open  saloon  in  a 
town.  That  is  the  worst  thing  that  God  or 
man  ever  tackled,  and  the  best  institution 
that  the  devil  ever  inaugurated — a  wide 
open  saloon. 

Now  the  next  worst  thing  to  a  saloon  is 
a  dispensary.  I  mean  in  its  influence  and 
effect.  Now  I  know  all  about  the  dis- 
pensary. You  fellows  up  here  do  not,  be- 
cause you  haven't  been  around  them  like  I 
have,  and  seeing  the  thing. 

Now  I  know  w^here  the  question  gets  the 
biggest  crowd  of  us  poor  fellows.  There  are 
men  in  this  city — and  I  w^ant  to  say  they  are 
respectable  men — who  say  if  we  are  obliged 
to  have  liquor,  let  us  get  the  license  and  the 
tax  money  out  of  it ;  it  aint  right  to  have  it 
sold  here  and  get  nothing  in  return.  Well, 
now,  I  want  to  talk  to  you  a  little  about 
that.  You  know  Judas  Iscariot  is  put  down 
in  the  Bible  as  a  pretty  bad  egg.    He  sold 


RAVAGES  OF  RUM  91 

his  Lord  for  thirty  pieces  of  silver.  You 
know  the  more  I  see  of  some  fellows  the 
more  I  think  of  Judas  Iscariot.  Old  Judas 
was  the  treasurer  of  the  apostles,  and  money 
got  pretty  low,  and  they  walked  up  to  him 
and  said,  "  If  you  will  point  Him  out  to  us 
we  will  give  you  thirty  pieces  of  silver."  I 
think  now  that  Judas  said  in  his  heart, 
"  That  money  will  help  us  out  mighty  well ; 
if  I  point  Him  out  He  will  withdraw  Himself 
as  He  has  done  in  times  past,  and  He  will 
not  be  hurt  or  harmed  by  them.  And  he 
took  the  money.  And  when  he  saw  them 
mock  his  Lord,  as  they  platted  a  crown  of 
thorns  and  thrust  it  on  his  Lord's  temples, 
when  he  saw  them  spit  on  Him  and  buffet 
Him,  Judas  went  back  and  dumped  the 
pieces  of  silver  at  their  feet,  and  said, "  Take 
your  money  back,  I  have  betrayed  innocent 
blood."  And  they  said,  "  We  won't  take  it 
back,  see  to.it";  and  Judas  left  the  money 
lying  at  their  feet  and  went  out  and  hung 
himself.  You  know  that  I  think  when  a 
man  sells  himself,  and  his  wife,  and  chil- 
dren, and  town  to  these  damnable  saloons 
and  dispensaries,  I  think  there  is  only  one 
thing  for  him  to  do,  and  that  is,  go  out  and 
hang  himself.  What  do  you  think  about 
that,  old  red  nose?    Judas  had  some  con- 


92   POPULAR  LECTURES  of  SAM  P.  JONES 

science  in  him,  but  you  want  to  put  this 
town  and  county  in  the  attitude  of  selling 
the  most  sacred  things  that  God's  eyes  ever 
looked  at,  and  instead  of  taking  the  money 
back,  you  want  to  take  it  and  invest  it,  to 
lighten  your  taxes  and  fix  up  your  roads; 
and  you  tell  me,  "  Why,  Brother  Jones, 
wouldn't  you  rather  have  open  saloons  than 
blind  tigers?''  Why  don't  you  ask  me 
which  I  had  rather  have,  smallpox  or  yellow 
fever?  I  don't  want  either  one.  Why  do 
you  want  to  have  either  one? 

When  you  find  blind  tigers,  you  will  find 
a  blind  mayor,  a  blind  council,  and  a  blind 
sheriff ;  everything  is  blind.  You  can't  run 
them  without  having  everything  blind.  You 
know  a  pup  will  get  his  eyes  open  in  nine 
days,  but  there  are  officers  in  this  town  fifty 
years  old  that  have  never  got  their  eyes  open 
yet.  Why  don't  you  go  to  electing  pups? 
They  will  get  their  eyes  open  sooner. 

Now  hear  me,  with  all  the  lights  before 
you,  listen:  When  I  look  around  over  this 
great  State  of  Georgia — you  know  this  is  a 
good  State,  and  if  God  Almighty  was  ever 
good  to  any  people,  he  is  good  to  us,  there 
aint  no  doubt  about  that — I  want  to  say  to 
you,  when  I  look  up  and  see  the  merciful 
goodness  of  God,  and  the  immense  blessings 


RAVAGES  OF  RUM  ^       93 

He  has  bestowed  upon  us  fellows,  and  then 
Bee  how  we  will  lie  out  with  the  devil  to 
debauch  one  another,  I  am  the  most  aston- 
ished man  on  this  earth ;  and  whenever  Sam 
Jones  puts  in  a  vote  for  saloons  or  dis- 
pensaries, you  can  disfranchise  me  like  a 
negro,  and  never  allow  me  to  vote  any  more, 
and  I  believe  you  will  have  done  a  good 
thing  for  my  country.    You  hear.  Bud? 

Now  hear  me:  The  saloon  is  the  worst 
thing  that  ever  opened  for  business  any- 
where on  the  face  of  God's  earth.  The  dis- 
pensary is  more  debauching  to  the  sentiment 
of  the  community  than  the  saloon,  because 
you  take  it  out  of  the  hands  of  the  bull- 
necked,  white-aproned  devil  that  stands  be- 
hind the  counter  and  dishes  it  out  at  ten 
cents  a  drink,  to  put  the  money  in  his  own 
pocket,  and  you  put  it  in  the  hands  of  your 
council,  and  your  church  members,  dishing 
it  out  to  help  pay  the  taxes;  and  my  God, 
what  worse  shape  can  you  get  liquor  in  than 
to  have  it  in  the  hands  of  the  best  people  in 
your  town?  You  say, "  Why,  Brother  Jones, 
don't  you  think  a  dispensary  will  do  less 
harm?  "  I  say  it  will  do  more  harm,  by  de- 
bauching the  sentiment  of  your  community. 
The  most  debauched  State  in  this  country 
to-day  is  South  Carolina,  where  they  are 


94   POPULAR  LECTURES  of  SAM  P.  JONES 

debauched  in  State,  and  county,  and  ballot ; 
and  the  State  of  South  Carolina  is  shoveling 
the  dispensaries  out  of  existence,  and  they 
say,  we  will  tolerate  you  no  longer. 

Then  your  blind  tigers.  For  you  know  a 
blind  tiger  cannot  run  in  this  town  without 
the  consent  of  the  people  that  live  here.  I 
will  tell  you  what  is  the  matter.  You 
needn't  jump  on  your  mayor  and  council. 
When  you  march  out  like  men  and  say  this 
thing  has  got  to  stop,  it  will  stop,  mayor  or 
no  mayor,  council  or  no  council. 

You  hear  me?  You  know  the  biggest 
thing  in  this  country?  We  talk  about  com- 
bines and  corporations  and  trusts;  the  big- 
gest thing,  thank  God,  on  earth  is  the  people, 
and  whenever  they  wake  up  you  have  got  a 
moral  cyclone  that  will  straighten  things 
out.  You  are  laying  around  here  waiting  for 
the  officers  to  do  it,  when  any  twenty  of  you 
can  get  in  a  hack,  and  drive  around  to  these 
fellows,  and  tell  them  to  clean  out  and  get 
out  of  business,  or  you  will  not  guarantee  the 
consequences — it  will  straighten  things  out. 
You  go  around  saying,  blind  tiger  this,  and 
blind  tiger  that  in  the  town.  The  trouble  is 
that  you  have  got  no  men  here;  if  I  were 
you,  sister,  when  I  got  my  little  husband 
home  to-night^  I  would  make  the  children 


RAVAGES  OF  RUM  95 

catch  the  little  daddy  and  bring  him  in,  and 
I  would  pull  the  baby  out  of  the  cradle,  and 
put  the  little  daddy  in  there,  and  make  the 
children  rock  the  little  daddy,  and  if  he 
didn't  get  a  move  on  him,  I  would  knock  his 
teeth  out  and  nurse  him  till  you  wean  him. 
Anybody  can  go  around  talking  blind  tiger 
this  and  blind  tiger  that,  when  all  you  want 
on  God  Almighty's  earth  is  some  respect- 
able, reputable,  real  genuine  citizens.  You 
say  the  thing  has  got  to  stop,  and  it  will 
stop  any  day  you  say  so.  You  say,  "  Brother 
Jones,  don't  you  think  we  had  better  have 
some  money  out  of  it?  "  Now  look  here,  I 
want  you  fellows  to  hear  every  word  I  say 
to  you,  and  if  any  of  you  don't  like  anything 
I  say,  if  you  will  go  outside  the  corporation 
and  wait  till  I  come  we  will  settle  it;  but 
God  bless  you,  I  aint  coming,  you  hear? 

Now  I  am  not  here  to  abuse  your  mayor 
and  council.  They  are  just  about  average 
fellows  of  the  town,  and  I  could  not  abuse 
them  without  abusing  the  whole  business. 
There  never  was  a  fellow  mayor  of  this  town 
that  you  did  not  elect;  there  never  was  a 
councilman  that  you  did  not  elect;  there 
never  was  a  sheriff  that  you  did  not  elect; 
there  never  was  an  officer  in  this  county  that 
was  not  a  matter  of  choice  with  you. 


96  POPULAR  LECTURES  of  SAM  P.  JONES 

Now  listen  to  me.  When  you  come  np  as  a 
good  citizen,  considering  this  question  of 
opening  your  doors  and  taking  the  saloon- 
keeper into  your  town,  to  debauch  our  boys, 
and  wreck  our  homes,  and  break  the  hearts 
of  our  wives,  you  have  got  up  the  biggest 
question  that  intelligent  citizens  ever  got 
up  in  this  world. 

God  bless  you  country  folks.  You  country 
fellows,  you  know  what  they  want  to  do 
with  you?  They  want  you  to  come  in,  and 
sell  you  liquor,  and  you  get  drunk,  and  they 
will  lock  you  up ;  they  will  get  your  money 
for  the  liquor  to  pay  their  license,  and  then 
lock  you  up.  A  country  man  that  would 
vote  for  liquor  ought  to  be  bored  for  the  hol- 
low head,  and  bled  in  the  frog  of  the  foot. 
The  town  gets  the  money  for  the  license,  the 
saloonkeeper  gets  the  profits,  and  all  the 
poor  country  fellow  gets  is  to  be  locked  up, 
find  when  the  council  meets  they  will  get 
you  up  before  them,  and  then  fine  you  for 
getting  drunk,  and  your  poor  wife  has  to  pay 
you  out.  Will  a  man  vote  for  a  tricky  set 
like  that? 

I  love  my  wife  and  children,  boys,  and  I 
would  rather  walk  down  to  that  railroad 
track,  and  lie  down  on  it  and  let  an  engine 
grind  me  into  mincemeat  before  I  would 


RAVAGES  OF  RUM  97 

walk  up  to  the  ballot  box  and  vote  for  liquor, 
and  wreck  my  home,  bring  disgrace  to  my 
children,  and  break  my  wife's  heart.  You 
can  have  your  saloons,  but  I  will  fight  them 
every  day  God  gives  me  to  do  it;  you  can 
have  your  dispensaries,  but  I  will  say  to  the 
tax  gatherers,  you  can  count  it  out  as  far  as 
I  am  concerned,  and  I  will  give  my  part  of 
it  to  the  orphans'  home ;  if  I  have  to  send  my 
children  to  the  orphans'  home  to  live  I  will 
fight  it. 

I  will  tell  you  another  thing,  and  it  is 
the  truth,  if  a  preacher  ever  uttered  the 
truth :  If  any  man  will  deliberately  walk  up 
to  the  polls  and  put  in  a  vote  for  the  saloon, 
he  deserves  that  every  boy  he  has  got  dies 
a  drunkard,  and  every  daughter  of  his  home 
has  to  live  in  the  embrace  of  a  cruel,  drunken 
husband.  In  the  name  of  God,  if  the  saloon 
is  debauched  then  why  not  debauch  the  son 
of  every  man  that  votes  for  them? 

Now  hear  me;  my  boys  may  both  die 
drunkards,  but  they  shall  say  at  the  bar 
of  God,  and  say  it  amid  the  sufferings  of 
hell,  "  My  father  fought  liquor  as  long  as 
he  had  a  fist  to  strike  it,  and  kicked  it  as 
long  as  he  had  a  foot,  and  bit  it  as  long  as 
he  had  teeth,  and  then  gummed  it  till  he 
died."     If  there  aint  but  one  man  on  God 


98  POPULAR  LECTURES  of  SAM  P.  JONES 

Almighty's  earth  that  will  fight  liquor  any- 
where and  everywhere,  by  God's  grace,  I 
will  be  that  man;  and  you  fellows  stand 
around  and  say,  "  I  will  lick  him  and  beat 
him  to  death  for  what  he  said  down  there." 
You  may  take  me  and  beat  me  to  death,  and 
when  you  go  home  to  your  wife  you  will  say, 
"  We  beat  Sam  Jones  to  death."  And  she 
will  say,  "What  for,  husband?"  And  you 
will  say,  "  Because  he  was  standing  up  for 
the  women  and  children  and  for  God-fear- 
ing, sober,  upright  men,  and  I  will  beat  any- 
body to  death  who  will  speak  in  the  interest 
of  my  wife  and  children."  Wouldn't  that 
be  a  nice  tale  to  tell  your  wife?  But  if  you 
start  that  beating  business  around  here  we 
will  feed  the  buzzards  on  you.  My  God,  a 
man  that  would  vote  for  a  saloon !  It  is  bad 
enough  to  lie  for  them.  You  know  a  fellow 
can't  help  but  lie  when  he  is  for  the  saloon. 
You  can  put  any  old  whiskey  devil  in  an  ash 
hopper  and  pour  water  on  him  and  he  will 
drip  lies — he  can't  help  it. 

Now  I  will  just  take  this  thing  and  look 
you  in  the  face  to-day,  and  I  say  it  aint 
any  debatable  question.  Are  you  a  father? 
Yes.  So  am  I.  Are  you  a  husband?  Yes. 
So  am  I.  Are  you  a  citizen  of  Georgia? 
Yes.     So  am  I.    Are  you  endeavouring  to 


RAVAGES  OF  RUM  99 

do  the  best  you  can  for  your  wife  and  chil- 
dren? Yes.  Then  there  aint  any  use  talk- 
ing about  it,  and  if  you  are  not  for  your  wife 
and  boys  I  won't  discuss  it  with  you ;  I  aint 
got  no  time  to  waste  on  you.  I  like  to  en- 
counter a  brave,  true  man,  ever  ready  to  use 
his  tongue,  or  lift  his  hand  or  pen  in  defence 
of  women  and  children,  and  whenever  a  fel- 
low strikes  a  blow,  or  puts  in  a  ballot  that 
will  bring  sorrow  to  a  woman's  heart  he  un- 
mans himself  on  the  spot. 

Some  of  the  cleverest  fellows  in  this  town 
are  for  whiskey,  but  it  is  the  devil  in  you.  I 
have  seen  the  devil  get  in  a  hog,  and  you 
couldn't  drive  him  through  a  gate.  I  have 
seen  the  devil  get  in  a  horse,  and  he  can't 
pull  a  hen  off  the  roost;  I  have  seen  the 
devil  get  in  a  man,  and  the  devil  was  in  him ; 
I  have  seen  the  devil  get  in  a  woman,  but 
I  never  stayed  to  see  what  happened. 

I  want  to  tell  you  about  that  blind  tiger. 
A  blind  tiger  can't  live  in  this  town  unless 
you  patronise  them,  and  any  one  who  will 
patronise  blind  tigers  will  go  into  the  court 
house  and  swear  a  lie  about  it.  If  I  were 
you  I  would  tuck  my  tail  and  go  home  right 
now,  for  Sam  Jones  fixed  your  clock  right 
then.  Now  he  is  afraid  to  lick  me  about 
that,  because  the  grand  jury  would  get  him 


100  POPULAR  LECTURES  o/ SAM  p.  JONES 

sure,  and  get  a  bill  against  him,  because 
that  would  be  an  open  confession  to  the 
world,  like  the  fellow  that  said  he  done  it. 
You  know  I  didn't  call  any  names,  but  every 
fellow  knows  his  number. 

I  want  to  say  to  you  coloured  people,  you 
just  look  around  and  see  who  are  your 
friends,  and  if  you  are  going  to  let  the  saloon 
gang  vote  you  for  liquor,  then  I  want  to  tell 
you,  you  deserve  to  be  debauched  and  then 
taken  out  and  lynched,  and  it  is  the  gang 
that  debauches  you  that  lynches  you  every 
pop.  You  have  got  some  as  good  coloured 
people  as  there  are  on  earth,  and  there  aint 
enough  money  in  whiskeydom  to  buy  them, 
and  you  are  going  to  stand  right  on  this 
question.  You  hear  this,  you  coloured  men 
out  there,  if  there  is  a  man  on  earth  that 
ought  to  let  whiskey  alone  it  is  the  coloured 
man.  God  bless  you,  you  will  need  all  the 
sobriety  and  manhood  you  can  get,  and 
whiskey  cuts  that  grit  from  you  every  day 
you  live.  You  may  be  as  black  as  the  ace  of 
spades,  but  be  a  black  MAN,  and  not  a  black 
DOG,  and  don't  vote  with  these  whiskey 
devils. 

Now,  fellow  citizens,  hear  me :  The  worst 
thing  you  can  open  on  God  Almighty's  earth 
is  a  saloon.    The  next  worse  thing  is  a  dis- 


RAVAGES  OF  RUM  101 

pensary,  that  debauches  your  sentiment,  and 
puts  your  best  people  in  control  of  the  liquor 
traffic ;  and  the  next  worse  thing  is  the  blind 
tiger.  There  aint  a  saloon-keeper  that  ever 
opened  a  saloon,  but  that  he  was  as  good  as 
the  saloon ;  there  never  was  a  saloon  opened 
in  a  town  that  wasn't  as  good  as  the  law 
that  opened  the  way  for  it ;  there  never  was 
a  law  that  opened  the  way  for  it  that  wasn't 
as  good  as  the  voter  that  went  up  to  the 
ballot  box  and  voted  for  it. 

Now  there  is  the  saloon-keeper,  the  saloon, 
the  law  and  the  voter,  they  all  belong  to- 
gether, and,  before  God,  do  you  want  to 
hook  up  with  such  a  gang?  We  have  pound- 
ed them  with  argument  on  argument,  logic 
on  top  of  logic,  ethics  on  top  of  ethics,  and 
said  to  them,  "  One  man  makes  liquor,  an- 
other man  sells  it,  another  man  votes  for  it 
to  be  sold,  another  man  rents  the  house  for 
it  to  be  sold  in,  another  man  dies  drunk  on 
it,  all  these  make  each,  a  link  in  a  chain." 
We  have  put  the  drunkard,  the  end  link,  at 
one  end,  and  the  old  deacon  that  votes  with 
the  party  that  licenses  it  at  the  other  end, 
and  we  have  talked  to  them  like  this, 
"  Drunkard,  where  are  you  going?  "  He  re- 
plies, ^'  I  am  going  to  hell."  '^  How  do  you 
know  it?  "    He  replies,  "  The  Bible  says  no 


102    POPULAR  LECTURES  of  SAM  P.  JONES 

drunkard  shall  enter  into  the  kingdom  of 
heaven."  We  walk  back  to  the  other  end 
of  the  chain,  and  say  to  the  old  deacon, 
"  Where  are  you  going?  "  "  I  am  going  to 
heaven."  We  ask,  "  How  do  you  know  it?  " 
He  replies,  "  I  was  converted  to  God  way 
back  yonder  forty  years  ago,  and  once  in 
grace,  always  in  grace."  We  replied  to  him, 
"  You  old  fool,  when  the  other  end  of  this 
chain  goes  into  hell,  chook,  the  old  deacon 
will  go  in  with  the  balance  of  the  links, 
and  ought  to  go,  and  will  feel  absolutely 
at  home  when  he  lands.  He  will  be  with 
the  gang  that  he  runs  with  here,  how- 
ever much  he  may  outclass  them  in 
pretensions." 

The  temperance  people  of  the  United 
States  may  be  divided  into  two  classes. 
First,  the  Prohibitionists,  and,  secondly,  the 
Local  Optionists.  The  Prohibitionists  ad- 
vocate the  extermination  of  the  traffic.  The 
Local  Optionists  say,  "  Let  the  people  of 
every  county  and  hamlet  in  the  United 
States  settle  it  for  themselves." 

The  first  class  stand  at  the  very  source  of 
the  river  of  dissipation,  and  stand  saying  to 
the  liquor  traffic,  "  If  we  can  prevent  it,  you 
shall  not  push  or  throw  another  boy  or  man 
or  woman  into  this  river."    The  other  class 


RAVAGES  OF  RUM  103 

of  temperance  people,  good-hearted,  good- 
natured,  backboneless  crowd,  are  standing 
away  down  the  stream  of  dissipation,  and 
try  to  get  busy  pulling  out  the  poor  drunk- 
ards, and  trying  to  save  them  from  a  drunk- 
ard's grave.  The  first  class  pray  and  vote 
Prohibition.  The  second  class  can  al- 
ways be  found  in  the  ranks  of  the  Demo- 
cratic or  Republican  parties,  and  that  class 
of  temperance  people  had  rather  see  whiskey 
flowing  ankle  deep  all  over  the  United 
States,  with  a  dipper  hanging  on  a  limb  of 
every  tree,  and  all  America  floating  to  hell, 
than  to  see  the  Grand  Old  Democratic  Party 
defeated  at  the  polls.  They  vote  one  way 
and  pray  another.  They  are  all  right  for 
temperance  three  hundred  and  sixty-four 
days  in  the  year,  and  then  take  a  furlough 
on  election  day,  and  do  all  the  devil  wants 
them  to  do  to  perpetuate  the  traffic,  that  he 
may  debauch  the  country. 

There  are  three  classes  upon  which  the 
guilt  of  this  traffic  rests.  First,  those  who 
favor  the  license ;  second,  those  who  deal  in 
the  traffic,  and,  thirdly,  those  who  drink  it. 
The  first  class  are  rascals,  the  second  class, 
hypocrites,  and  the  third  class  are  fools,  and 
when  you  ring  up  that  whole  crowd,  you 
have  got  a  combination  of  rascals,  and  hypo- 


104  POPULAR  LECTURES  of  SAM  P.  JONES 

crites,  and  fools,  in  spite  of  the  fact  that 
they  are  nearly  forty  to  one  as  they  stand 
upon  the  voting  list  of  America. 

If  the  Prohibitionists  of  this  country 
could  go  to  the  United  States  Congress,  and 
ask  for  the  prohibition  of  the  traffic,  the  poli- 
ticians would  reply,  "  We  can't  do  without 
the  revenue  we  get  from  that  direction." 
Go  to  the  Legislature,  and  they  reply,  "  Our 
educational  fund  comes  largely  from  the 
liquor  traffic."  Go  to  the  municipality,  they 
Bay,  "  We  need  the  money  the  liquor  traffic 
supplies." 

It  is  the  last  retreat  for  a  pusillanimous 
coward  and  scoundrel  to  want  to  jerk  his 
tax  money  from  the  heart's  blood  of  the 
women  and  children,  the  best  that  God  ever 
made.  When  I  can't  pay  taxes  on  the  last 
piece  of  property  I  have  got,  I  am  ready  to 
go  to  the  poorhouse  of  my  county  and  die 
an  honourable  death.  You  talk  to  me  about 
you  want  the  money  out  of  it.  Your  money 
perish  with  you!  On  the  day  you  go  up 
to  the  ballot  box  and  put  a  vote  in  for 
the  saloon  you  have  unmanned  yourself,  be- 
cause you  have  said,  "  I  think  more  of  the 
liquor  traffic  and  the  money  it  will  bring 
than  I  think  of  my  wife,  than  I  think  of 
my  children."    Away  with  your  money,  if 


RAVAGES  OF  RUM  105 

I  have  to  run  the  Avheels  of  the  liquor  traffic 
over  my  wife  and  children. 

But  this  thing  is  all  a  joke.  When  the 
liquor  crowd  counts  up  their  vote  in  this 
county  they  will  tuck  their  tails,  for  that 
settles  them  for  ever,  it  will  never  be  raised 
again;  we  mean  business;  those  fellows 
won't  know  what  hit  them  the  next  morning 
after  the  election. 

Now  hear  me,  the  boys  in  this  county  have 
grown  up  from  boyhood  to  young  manhood, 
and  never  saw  an  open  saloon  in  the  county, 
and  now  by  your  vote  you  want  to  open 
them  up  and  show  them  what  they  are.  God 
pity  a  citizenship  that  wants  a  thing  like 
that.  Now  of  all  men  on  God  Almighty's 
earth  you  country  men  don't  want  the  sa- 
loon. The  country  is  where  all  the  boys 
come  from  that  are  fit  for  anything.  You 
have  got  a  lot  of  little  lobsters  in  this  town, 
sitting  around,  playing  pool,  and  living  with 
their  mothers,  and  having  their  washing 
done  at  home.  God  deliver  me  from  the 
poolroom  gang.  There  ain't  a  poolroom 
gang  anywhere  that  there  is  not  a  blind 
tiger  within  one  hundred  yards  of  it.  They 
said  to  me  in  Atlanta,  "  Oh,  the  poolroom 
men  w^ere  respectable  men.  That  fellow  is 
boarding  with  his  widowed  mother  and  hav- 


106  POPULAR  LECTURES  of  SAM  P.  JONES 

ing  his  washing  done  at  home."  Some  of 
them  say,  ^^  You  are  impugning  my  hon- 
our ! ''  You  little  fool,  you  haven't  got  any 
honour. 

Talk  about  the  saloons.  I  would  rather 
see  ten  mad  dogs  turned  loose  than  one 
saloon.  If  a  mad  dog  bites  your  child  he 
may  die,  but  his  pure  spirit  will  go  home  to 
God,  while  the  saloon  will  damn  his  soul 
for  ever.  If  you  want  to  turn  loose  some  fel- 
lows that  have  got  to  have  some  money,  just 
inaugurate  a  set  of  burglars.  They  will  take 
all  a  fellow  has  got,  but  cannot  hurt  his 
character,  and  he  can  make  more  money; 
but  you  turn  the  saloon  loose,  and  you  put 
him  where  he  can't  make  any  more  money, 
and  take  all  he  has.  I  think  the  burglar  is  a 
gentleman  beside  the  saloon-keeper,  who 
takes  all  the  poor  fellow  has  and  sends  him 
to  hell  at  last. 

In  a  county  where  I  was  pastor,  a  good, 
clever-hearted  country  fellow,  like  many  of 
you,  drove  into  town  with  his  last  bale  of 
cotton  on  his  wagon  and  sold  it.  His  little 
boy  had  on  cotton  pants  that  struck  him 
at  the  knee ;  he  didn't  have  any  coat.  After 
he  had  sold  the  cotton  he  said  to  the  little 
boy,  "  You  hold  the  horses  and  I  will  be 
back  in  a  little  while."    He  went  off  to  the 


RAVAGES  OF  RUM  107 

saloon,  and  after  he  had  stayed  an  hour, 
the  poor,  pale  little  boy  left  in  the  wagon, 
shivering  with  cold,  crawled  down  on  his 
poor,  feeble,  benumbed  limbs,  went  across 
to  the  saloon,  went  in,  and  up  to  his  father, 
and  said,  "  Father,  please  come  on  and  let 
us  go  home ;  I  am  so  cold  out  yonder."  The 
father  set  down  the  glass  of  liquor,  and  lift- 
ing his  strong  right  hand,  struck  the  poor 
little  fellow  on  the  side  of  the  head,  knock- 
ing him  against  the  wall  with  such  force  that 
he  rebounded  from  the  wall  to  the  floor.  The 
little  fellow  put  his  poor  little  hand  to  his 
head  and  went  back  to  the  wagon  and 
crawled  in,  and  some  time  later  his  father 
staggered  out  to  the  wagon,  and  he  drove 
him  home.  The  next  morning  when  the  man 
woke  up  his  wife  said,  "  Get  up  and  go  for 
the  doctor;  little  Johnny  has  the  highest 
kind  of  a  fever,  and  the  side  of  his  face  is  all 
swollen,  and  since  midnight  he  has  been  out 
of  his  head;  get  up  and  go  for  the  doctor." 
The  poor  little  fellow  had  never  told  on  his 
father.  He  got  up  and  went  for  the  doctor, 
and  the  doctor  came  and  examined  the 
child,  and  said  to  the  mother,  "  Both  lungs 
are  on  fire  with  pneumonia,  temperature 
one  hundred  and  eight ;  he  won't  live  to  see 
the  sun  go  down."    The  next  morning  that 


108  POPULAR  LECTURES  0/ SAM  P.  JONES 

man  walked  into  the  sitting-room  and 
kneeled  down  by  the  corpse  of  his  little  boy, 
and  fell  on  his  face,  and  said,  "  Oh,  my 
God,  is  there  any  mercy  for  a  man  that 
would  treat  his  little  boy  as  I  have?" 

When  the  whiskey  drinker  looks  around 
him  and  sees  that  the  stuff  he  is  drinking 
made  his  neighbour  murder  his  wife,  an- 
other neighbour  butcher  his  children,  an- 
other kill  his  mother,  another  shoot  down 
a  friend,  when  he  sees  that  the  stuff  he  is 
drinking  made  other  men  do  deeds  like 
these,  then  he  must  be  an  infernal  fool  to 
pour  the  same  stuff  down  his  throat. 

When  I  was  in  New  Orleans,  a  poor 
woman — the  papers  were  full  of  it — was  liv- 
ing in  a  little  shed-like  home,  trying  to  cook 
the  little  simple  meal  one  day,  and  her  little 
baby  was  playing  in  the  front  room,  a  poor 
little  pale  drunkard's  child  and  as  it  was 
sitting  there,  the  drunken  father  came  in, 
and  as  he  walked  up  to  the  child  it  shrank 
away  and  screamed,  and  he  lifted  his  cruel 
rough  shoe  and  kicked  it,  and  its  brains  scat- 
tered over  the  floor.  He  turned  and  walked 
out  to  the  saloon  across  the  street.  The 
mother  came  into  the  room  after  he  had 
gone,  and  there  was  the  little  one  lying  with 
its  brains  over  the  floor.     She  knelt  down 


RAVAGES  OF  RUM  109 

by  it,  pushed  her  arm  under  its  little  form, 
and  went  over  to  the  saloon ;  just  as  she  en- 
tered her  husband  was  lifting  a  glass  of 
liquor  to  his  lips,  and  the  blood  gushed  from 
his  lungs  and  he  fell  dead.  She  rushed  up 
to  the  counter,  dashed  her  child  on  it,  and 
said  to  the  saloon-keeper,  "  Sir,  you  have 
murdered  my  husband  and  child,  now 
please,  sir,  take  a  pistol  and  blow  my  brains 
out!" 

You  talk  about  licensing  a  thing  like 
that.  I  would  shoot  my  brains  out  before 
I  would  do  it.  You  look  out  how  you  use 
the  sacred  ballot.  A  ballot  has  got  a  man 
behind  it,  and  you  have  got  to  answer  for  it 
at  the  bar  of  God. 


VI 

GET  THERE  AND  STAY  THERE 

THERE  are  two  classes  that  ought  to 
be  especially  interested  in  the  sub- 
ject under  discussion.  The  Presby- 
terians and  the  Methodists.  The  Presby- 
terians ought  to  be  specially  interested  in 
how  to  get  there;  they  can  beat  the  world 
staying  there,  but  they  are  a  little  slow 
about  getting  there.  The  Methodists  ought 
to  be  specially  interested  in  how  to  stay 
there.  They  can  beat  the  world  getting 
there,  but  they  are  back  again  next  morn- 
ing before  breakfast. 

This  phrase,  "  Get  there,"  is  peculiarly 
an  American  phrase.  It  was  born  in  the 
last  decade,  amid  the  whistle  of  our  engines, 
the  rush  of  our  commerce,  and  the  click  of 
our  telegraph,  and  there  is  no  phrase  so 
expressive  of  the  life  and  energy  of  our 
American  people  as  the  one  we  select  for 
the  subject  of  this  lecture. 

First,  I  might  stand  here  and  talk  for 
the  time  allotted  me,  on  how  to  get  there 

110 


GET  THERE  AND  STAY  THERE    Ul 

socially.  But  really,  when  we  get  into 
society,  we  have  not  gotten  very  far  or  very 
high.  The  dude  and  the  dudine  are  the 
highest  expression  of  nineteenth  century 
social  life,  and  after  all  a  dude  is  nothing 
but  society  gone  to  seed.  A  father  was  one 
day  walking  down  the  streets  of  a  city  with 
his  little  son.  They  met  a  dude.  The  little 
fellow  turned  and  looked  up  at  his  father, 
and  said,  "  Papa,  what  was  that? ''  The 
father  answered,  "  It  is  a  dude,  son."  The 
little  fellow  said,  "  Papa,  who  makes 
dudes? "  The  father  answered,  "  God 
makes  them,  I  suppose.''  "  Well,  then," 
said  the  little  fellow,  "  God  loves  to  have 
fun  as  well  as  the  balance  of  us." 

But  God  didn't  any  more  make  a  dude 
than  he  made  a  drunkard  or  a  liar  or  a 
gambler.  It  is  a  perversion  of  every  God- 
given  instinct  in  any  man  to  turn  out  in 
either  of  these  directions.  I  have  seen 
social  life  in  this  great  country  from  the 
Atlantic  to  the  Pacific;  from  the  home  of 
the  millionaire  in  the  East,  to  the  wigwam 
of  the  Indian  in  the  West;  from  the  White 
House  in  Washington,  to  the  humblest 
cabin  in  our  Southland,  and  I  deal  can- 
didly with  this  audience  when  I  say  that 
the  finest  type  of  social  life  on  which  my 


112  POPULAR  LECTURES  0/ SAM  P.  JONES 

eyes  have  ever  looked  is  that  plain,  quiet 
country  home,  where  a  noble  father,  and  a 
pious,  painstaking  mother,  and  the  rosy- 
cheeked,  vigorous  boys  and  girls  grow  up. 
See  them  in  all  their  life,  so  real  and 
earnest;  so  helpful  and  kindly,  each  to- 
wards the  other.  See  them  as  they  gather 
morning,  noon,  and  night  at  the  hearty  meal 
of  the  hour.  See  them  when  the  day's  work 
is  done,  and  the  early  bed  hour  comes,  and 
the  old  father  gathers  them  around  his 
hearthstone,  and  takes  the  Bible  from  the 
little  table  on  which  there  sits  the  burning 
lamp.  He  reads  aloud  a  chapter  to  his  wife 
and  children,  and  then  they  all  kneel  down 
in  prayer  and  devotion  to  God.  Look  on 
that  picture.  I  have  thought  I  could  see 
God's  old  family  prayer  elevator  come  down 
in  the  midst,  and  they  all  mount  into  it, 
and  go  above  the  stars  and  commune  until 
they  over-vaulted  the  very  throne  of  God 
itself. 

There  they  linger,  a  few  moments,  look- 
ing over  the  towering  spires  and  jasper  walls 
of  the  city  of  God.  Then  they  all  come  back 
and  retire  for  peaceful  sleep,  and  next 
morning  before  the  early  breakfast  is  an- 
nounced, the  same  group  will  gather,  and 
the  same  God  is  worshipped. 


GET  THERE  AND  STAY  THERE    113 

I  want  to  say  to  you,  my  neighbour,  that 
it  is  out  of  homes  like  these  that  have 
come  the  grand  men  and  women  who  have 
made  the  history  of  America  worth  writing 
in  the  past,  and  it  is  from  homes  like  these 
whence  shall  come  the  noble  men  and 
women  who  will  adorn  all  future  pages  of 
American  history.  The  real  home,  the  gen- 
uine home,  where  character  is  fostered  and 
manhood  is  developed. 

We  can  never  lift  this  country  up  by 
putting  the  leverage  under  State  Capitols 
or  the  National  Capitol,  but  when  we  put 
the  leverage  under  the  homes  of  this  coun- 
try, then  we  reach  altitudes  that  will  make 
us  honour  God  and  make  us  the  greatest 
nation  on  the  face  of  the  earth. 

Again,  I  might  stand  here  and  talk  indef- 
initely about  how  to  get  there  financially. 
But  the  game  isn't  worth  the  candle,  for  we 
are  all  on  a  pilgrimage  here,  on  a  journey, 
and  the  less  baggage  we  are  hampered  with 
on  the  way  the  better  off  we  are.  Shrouds 
have  no  pockets,  and  if  you  have  pockets 
put  in  your  shroud  your  arms  will  be  so 
stiff  you  can't  put  your  hands  in  them. 

The  difference  between  being  rich  and 
being  poor  is  all  incidental  and  not  acci- 
dental.   That  philosopher  is  yet  to  be  born 


114  POPULAR  LECTURES  of  SAM  P.  JONES 

who  can  tell  which  is  the  best  estate,  to  be 
hungry  as  a  dog  and  have  nothing  to  eat, 
or  have  the  colic  every  day  from  eating  too 
much.  I  believe  I  had  rather  have  nothing 
than  have  the  colic.  That  philosopher  is 
yet  to  be  born  who  can  tell  which  is  the 
best  estate,  to  be  a  millionaire  and  roll  all 
night  on  his  downy  bed  and  not  sleep  a 
wink,  or  be  an  old  tramp  on  the  roadside, 
snoring  so  you  can  hear  him  a  hundred 
yards.  The  old  tramp  has  got  the  drop  on 
him  for  the  time  being. 

The  man  who  puts  gold  above  God,  chat- 
tels above  character,  and  mammon  above 
manhood,  has  inverted  God's  order  of 
things,  and  his  pathway  will  be  downward 
instead  of  upward.  Many  men  will  save 
and  skimp  and  skin  to  lay  up  money  for 
their  children.  They  rob  themselves  of 
every  comfort,  and  the  wife  and  mother 
knows  no  surcease  from  toil  and  labour,  and 
frequently  they  lay  down  and  die,  and 
leave  all  their  hard-earned  money  to  their 
children,  and  the  children,  many  times,  buy 
a  through  ticket  to  hell  with  what  is  left 
them,  and  check  their  baggage  through,  and 
never  get  off  the  train  until  they  land.  If 
your  boy  is  any  account,  he  does  not  need 
your  money. 


GET  THERE  AND  STAY  THERE    115 

Then  again,  I  might  stand  here  for  the 
hour,  and  talk  about  how  to  get  there  polit- 
ically. Really,  if  I  wanted  to  ruin  a  man 
for  both  worlds,  I  would  run  him  for  office, 
and  see  that  he  was  elected.  You  ask, 
"  Can't  a  good  man  go  into  office?  "  Yes, 
and  frequently  they  do,  but  who  ever  heard 
of  a  good  man  coming  out  of  office?  A  clean 
hog  will  go  into  a  mud  hole,  but  just  look 
at  him  come  out.  There  is  not  a  dirtier 
cesspool  of  corruption  this  side  of  perdition 
than  politics  in  this  country.  A  fellow 
some  time  ago  asked  me  was  I  Democrat. 
I  answered,  "  No."  Then  said  he,  "  Are  you 
a  Republican?"  I  said,  "No,  thank  God." 
Then,  "  Are  you  a  Populist?  "  I  replied, 
"  No ;  are  you  a  fool?  "  Then  he  said,  "  What 
are  you,  Jones  ?  "  I  said, "  I  am  a  gentleman." 
I  suppose  most  of  you  would  feel  a  little 
awkward  at  the  first  trying  to  be  a  gentle- 
man, but  you  would  soon  get  around  it, 
and  like  it.  Men  may  talk  about  the  prin- 
ciples of  the  grand  old  Democratic  Party, 
and  the  principles  of  the  grand  old  Re- 
publican Party,  but  I  say  to  you,  in  the 
fear  of  God,  that  the  highest  patriotism 
and  divinest  principles  that  ever  stirred 
the  American  heart  are  the  patriotism  and 
principles  which  honour  a  wife,   shield   a 


116   POPULAR  LECTURES  of  SAM  P.  JONES 

mother,  protect  a  daughter,  and  send  the 
boys  of  this  country  home  sober  to  their 
mothers.  I  am  one  American  citizen  who 
thinks  more  of  the  boys  of  his  home,  the 
happiness  of  his  wife,  and  the  sobriety  of 
his  boys,  than  he  does  of  any  political  party 
that  ever  cracked  a  whip  over  a  human 
slave.  If  this  makes  me  a  traitor,  then 
brand  me  the  biggest  traitor  in  American 
history  since  Benedict  Arnold. 

I  have  but  two  planks  in  my  political 
platform.  I  am  for  everything  that  is 
against  whiskey,  and  against  everything 
that  is  for  whiskey.  The  curse  of  our  poli- 
tics is  that  men  pray  one  way,  and  vote 
another.  A  man  who  prays  that  his  coun- 
try may  be  delivered  from  liquor  and  his 
boys  from  rum,  and  then  gets  off  his  knees 
and  goes  down  to  the  polls  and  votes  with 
these  red-nose  Democrats  and  Republicans, 
ought  to  come  to  church  next  Sunday,  and 
sing,  "  Thank  God,  I  am  still  on  my  journey 
home,"  with  his  index  finger  pointing  down- 
wards as  he  sings. 

The  liquor  traffic  of  America  has  more  in- 
fluence with  the  Democratic  and  Republi- 
can parties  than  any  other  influence  on 
earth  has,  and  the  man  who  does  not  know 
that  fact  hasn^t  sense  enough  to  vote  at  all, 


GET  THERE  AND  STAY  THERE    117 

and  if  he  knows  it,  and  still  votes  with 
them,  then  it  seems  that  he  was  either  a 
hypocrite  while  he  was  praying  or  a  hypo- 
crite while  he  was  voting. 

We  must  locate  the  responsibility  of  this 
liquor  traffic  somewhere.  No  saloon-keeper 
is  dirtier  and  meaner  than  his  saloon.  No 
saloon  is  lower  down  than  the  law  that 
licenses  it,  and  no  law  that  licenses  the  sa- 
loon is  dirtier  than  the  Legislature  that 
enacted  it,  and  no  Legislator  can  be  lower 
down  than  the  voters  w^ho  put  him  in. 

This  problem,  like  all  other  problems  in 
America,  is  square  up  against  the  people, 
and  the  people  only.  As  for  me,  I  am  a 
consolidated,  concentrated,  eternal,  uncom- 
promising, every-day-in-the-week,  stand-up- 
to-be-knocked-down  Prohibitionist  from 
head  to  foot. 

That  there  are  principles  in  both  the 
Democratic  and  Republican  parties  that 
are  wise  and  good,  and  will  live  forever,  I 
won't  deny,  but  I  won't  run  with  a 
gang  that  is  dominated  by  the  whiskey 
traffic,  no  matter  how  good  they  be  nor 
how  wise. 

But  I  will  not  spend  the  time  talking 
about  how  to  get  there,  socially,  financially, 
or  politically,  but  will  now  take  a  broader 


118  POPULAR  LECTURES  of  SAM  P.  JONES 

and  better  view  of  the  subject.  How  to  get 
there  in  genuine  manhood  and  noble  char- 
acter. 

Get  the  right  sort  of  a  fellow,  get  him 
in  the  right  way,  and  then  get  a  move  on 
him,  and  he  will  get  somewhere  soon.  The 
first  spirit  I  would  breathe  into  such  a  fel- 
low, who  really  wants  to  go  to  the  best 
destiny,  would  be  the  spirit  of  life.  Give 
me  a  fellow  with  enterprise,  and  vim,  and 
push,  and  go.  Motive  makes  a  man  go,  like 
steam  makes  an  engine  go.  A  man  really 
needs  but  tw^o  motives.  To  illustrate  what 
I  mean.  I  was  going  down  a  country  road 
in  my  buggy.  My  dog  was  following  along. 
We  passed  a  country  home,  and  a  dog 
jumped  the  fence  and  took  after  my  dog. 
My  dog  cut  one  eye  around  and  saw  him 
coming,  and  decided  on  the  spot.  "  The  best 
thing  I  can  do,''  it  seemed  to  say,  "  is  to 
move  on."  Daniel  Webster  never  made  a 
wiser  decision  or  acted  more  promptly  on 
it.    He  took  off  down  the  road  in  good  style. 

A  little  further  along  we  passed  another 
house,  and  the  biggest  dog  in  the  county 
jumped  the  fence,  and  took  after  the  middle 
dog.  Now,  sirs,  of  all  the  running  I  ever 
saw,  that  middle  dog  did  it  from  right  there 
on.     And  well  he  did,   for  he  had  more 


GET  THERE  AND  STAY  THERE    119 

reasons  for  humping  himself  than  any  dog 
I  ever  saw.  First  he  wanted  to  get  on 
ahead  and  catch  the  front  dog  and  lick  him. 
And  in  the  second  place,  he  knew  if  that 
behind  dog  caught  him,  he  would  clean  him 
up.  That  middle  dog  had  the  double  mo- 
tive, and  was  doing  the  tallest  running  I 
ever  saw  a  dog  do. 

Every  man  on  earth  has  that  double  mo- 
tive. The  mark  of  the  prize  alluring  him 
onward  and  upward,  and  the  devil  and  all 
his  angels  pressing  from  the  rear,  and  we 
all  have  motive  enough  to  keep  us  moving 
a  mile  a  minute  down  the  pike. 

All  things  may  come  to  him  who  waits, 
but  the  fellow  who  has  the  move  on  him 
will  get  the  prize  far  in  advance  of  the 
one  who  is  w^aiting.  Not  the  fellow  who 
stands  around  waiting  for  something  to 
turn  up,  but  the  fellow  who  gets  under  it 
and  turns  it  up.  Not  the  man  who  waits 
for  the  iron  to  get  hot,  but  the  one  who 
pitches  in  and  pounds  it  till  it  is  hot,  and 
then  shapes  it  as  he  wills.  Not  the  fellow 
who  stands  on  the  banks  of  the  river  of  de- 
cision and  shivers  and  shudders  and  dreads, 
but  the  one  who  runs  and  leaps  into 
the  current  and  swims  to  the  other  shore. 
The  man,  who,  if  he  cannot  go  over  an  ob- 


120   POPULAR  LECTURES  of  SAM  P.  JONES 

stacle  goes  under,  if  he  cannot  go  through 
he  will  go  around. 

If  I  had  this  spirit  thoroughly  infused 
into  a  fellow,  the  next  spirit  I  would  give 
him  would  be  the  spirit  of  courage.  The 
man  who  sees  clearly  the  right  thing  to 
do,  and  who  has  the  courage  to  do  it,  and 
the  sense  that  sees  that  it  will  pay  to  do  it; 
this  is  the  fellow  that  wins.  A  man  with 
the  moral  courage  to  stand  out  against  pub- 
lic opinion. 

Moral  courage  is  superior  to  physical 
courage.  Many  men  will  walk  up  to  the 
blazing  mouth  of  the  cannon  without  a 
quiver  of  a  muscle  and  afterwards  cower, 
and  wince,  and  whine  in  the  presence  of 
public  opinion.  And  it  is  not  the  courage 
that  tanks  up  on  liquor  and  carries  a  pistol 
in  the  hip  pocket,  for  I  never  see  a  cowardly 
dog  with  a  pistol  in  his  hip  pocket  that  I 
don't  warn  him  that  that  pistol  will  go  off 
some  day  and  blow  his  brains  out. 

To  fight  is  the  first  thought  of  a  bulldog, 
and  the  last  retreat  of  a  gentleman.  I  was 
asked  some  time  ago  if  I  would  fight  if  a 
fellow  hit  me  the  first  lick.  I  said,  "  I 
would  if  he  hit  me  the  second  lick."  The 
man  said,  "  How  is  that?  "  "  Well,"  said  I, 
"  when  a  man  smites  me  on  my  right  cheek. 


GET  THERE  AND  STAY  THERE    121 

and  I  turn  my  left,  and  he  smites  me  on 
that,  then  I  have  no  further  instructions, 
and  I  will  proceed  to  keep  the  flies  off  him 
till  the  procession  moves  on." 

Not  one  man  in  a  thousand  is  brave 
enough  to  do  right  when  the  tide  sets  the 
other  way.  It  takes  no  courage  to  go  with 
the  crowd,  but  the  man  who  is  willing  to 
stand  alone  in  the  right  is  the  truly  brave 
man. 

Again  I  would  infuse  the  spirit  of  hon- 
esty and  fair  dealing  into  a  man  whom 
I  would  get  there.  The  world  honours  and 
gives  the  right  of  way  to  the  honest  man, 
for  he  is  the  noblest  work  of  God.  Not 
simply  the  man  who  will  not  steal,  but  the 
man  who  lives  up  to  and  will  die  by  his 
convictions  of  right.  Not  simply  the  man 
who  will  pay  his  just  debts,  but  the  man 
who  ^'  sweareth  to  his  own  hurt  and 
changeth  not." 

Courage  is  an  essential  element  in  suc- 
cess. Reckless  men  rise,  but  they  will  fall 
down  lower  than  they  rose  upwards. 

Perseverance  is  another  quality  that  I 
would  give  the  man  who  would  "  get  there 
and  stay  there."  Many  men  have  failed  be- 
cause they  gave  up  too  soon.  Many  men 
have  had  pursuit  but  not  persistence.    For 


122  POPULAR  LECTURES  of  SAM  P.  JONES 

pursuit  and  persistence  bring  all  posses- 
sions. It  is  the  never-let-up  lawyer,  the  stay- 
by-his-job  workman,  the  faithful-unto-death 
fellow  that  gets  there  and  stays  there. 

With  these  elements  thoroughly  infused 
into  the  man,  and  he  is  in  the  right  way, 
and  headed  in  the  right  direction,  he  is  the 
man  who  will  win. 

When  I  see  a  young  man  choose  the  way 
of  uprightness,  sobriety,  industry,  and  hon- 
esty, I  need  no  tongue  of  prophecy  to  tell 
me  he  will  go  to  a  grand  destiny.  But  the 
young  man  who  chooses  the  way  of  the 
saloon,  and  the  gambling  hell,  and  the 
shameless  houses,  and  indolence  will  hit 
the  grit,  and  hit  it  hard,  and  hit  it  a  thou- 
sand times.  If  the  young  men  could  see 
that  the  way  of  the  transgressor  is  hard 
like  the  old  man  can  see  it,  many  of  them 
would  choose  the  better  way.  Then  let 
them  get  a  move  on  them. 

I  always  like  a  fellow  with  go,  and  push, 
and  vim.  In  Kentucky  I  have  been  asked 
to  preach  against  the  blooded  horses,  but  I 
like  them.  I  have  said,  I  hated  to  see  a  fel- 
low raise  colts  and  sell  them  for  |50,000 
apiece,  and  bring  up  boys  that  are  not 
worth  a  dollar  a  head.  I  like  the  fast 
horses.    Give  me  a  horse  like  Lou  Dillon, 


GET  THERE  AND  STAY  THERE    128 

that  will  trot  a  mile  in  two  minutes.  I 
tell  you,  to  stand  on  the  side  of  a  race  track 
and  see  half  a  dozen  runners  prancing  for 
the  start,  then  see  them  when  the  signal 
is  given,  as  they  leap  and  lunge  and  run, 
and  then  see  them  off  on  the  home  stretch, 
with  nostrils  distended  and  muscles  swol- 
len. See  them  again  as  they  run  neck  to 
neck,  and  nose  to  nose,  why,  preacher  that 
I  am,  I  "  go  one  eye ''  on  that.  But  I  have 
not  seen  a  thoroughbred  horse  race  in 
thirty  years,  and  never  expect  to  see  an- 
other. Not  that  I  don't  like  the  thorough- 
bred horses,  but  I  cannot  stand  the  little 
scrubby  men  that  stand  around  and  bet  on 
them.  If  you  will  breed  up  your  folks  as 
highly  as  the  horses  are  bred,  I  will  go  to 
the  race  track,  for  the  horses  that  are  doing 
the  running  are  thoroughbreds,  and  the 
little  devils  that  are  doing  the  betting  are 
little  scrubs.  I  always  like  to  race.  When 
I  was  a  boy,  there  was  not  a  boy  in  my  town 
with  legs  three  inches  within  the  length  of 
mine  that  could  beat  me  running.  If  I 
wrestled  with  him  it  was  every  dog  fall  on 
his  back  in  the  sand.  If  he  knocked  a  chip 
off  my  head  I  would  crawl  him  in  a  minute, 
not  that  I  was  specially  mad,  but  I  always 
despised  a  dull  time. 


124  POPULAR  LECTURES  of  SAM  P.  JONES 

I  was  coming'  from  St.  Louis  to  Cincin- 
nati sometime  ago  on  the  B.  &  O.  South- 
western Limited  train,  and  she  was  a 
hummer.  Fourteen  miles  out  of  Cincin- 
nati the  Big  Four  Railroad,  coming  from 
Chicago,  turns  a  curve,  and  runs  parallel 
with  the  B.  &  O.  into  the  city.  Then  as 
we  ran  up  to  that  point,  I  looked  over  to 
my  left  and  saw  the  Big  Four  passenger 
engine  rounding  the  curve.  She  pulled 
her  train  of  passengers  in  line  with  us.  We 
ran  almost  a  mile  together.  I  could  all 
but  hold  the  hands  of  the  man  in  the  oppo- 
site car.  Directly  I  began  to  feel  racy,  and 
you  can  feel  it  come  on.  I  looked  around 
and  saw  everybody  else  was  feeling  it,  and 
then  I  saw  the  race  was  on. 

We  had  a  great  ten-wheel  Mogul  Bald- 
win engine  with  twelve  cars,  counting  the 
two  Pullmans.  They  had  a  lighter  Schenec- 
tady engine,  with  only  six  cars,  counting 
their  one  Pullman.  Their  lighter  engine 
with  its  shorter  train,  picked  up  its  forces 
and  ran  for  ten  cars  ahead.  I  said  to  my- 
self, "  Shucks,  this  ain't  no  race  at  all. 
They  have  beat  us  quick."  But  I  could  feel 
every  pulsation  of  power  as  our  grand  old 
engine  got  down  to  her  work  with  increas- 
ing   momentum,    at    every    round    of    her 


GET  THERE  AND  STAY  THERE    125 

wheels.  Directly  there  was  a  little  decline 
in  the  track.  Our  engine  picked  up  her 
forces  and  ran  down  grade  like  a  thing  of 
life,  and  when  we  turned  the  grade  the  Big 
Four  engine  was  right  back  at  my  side. 
I  said,  "  We  will  beat  them  now.  We  have 
got  them  beat  already."  And  I  felt  good  all 
over,  and  all  the  passengers  in  our  train 
seemed  to  feel  that  victory  was  ours.  But 
as  I  sat  by  the  window  I  saw  the  fireman  of 
the  Big  Four  engine  scoop  the  coal  into  the 
furnace,  and  when  he  shut  the  furnace  door 
I  saw  the  engineer  as  he  leaped  from  the 
cushioned  seat  by  his  reverse  lever.  I  saw 
him  shut  off  the  cold  water  from  his  boiler. 
He  took  hold  of  the  sand  rod  and  shook  it 
a  time  or  two,  and  got  hold  of  the  lever  and 
pulled  the  throttle  wide  open.  The  little 
engine  seemed  to  lie  down  and  roll  over  in 
the  sand.  And  the  sparks  began  to  fly 
from  their  engine,  and  she  forged  ahead 
directly;  she  seemed  to  leap  ahead  a  hun- 
dred yards.  I  said,  "  We  are  beat  for 
good."  But  our  old  engine,  with  increasing 
momentum,  was  getting  down  to  her  work 
with  mighty  force.  There  came  another  de- 
cline in  the  track.  She  picked  up  her  forces 
and  shot  down  the  hill  like  a  streak  of 
lightning,  and  just  as  we  turned  the  grade, 


126  POPULAR  LECTURES  of  SAM  P.  JONES 

the  Big  Four  engine  was  back  again  at  my 
side.  I  said,  "  Good-bye,  boys,  for  good.  We 
have  beat  you  now."  But  I  looked  again, 
and  saw  that  old  fireman  heaving  the  coal 
into  the  furnace,  and  when  he  shut  the  door 
he  wrung  the  perspiration  from  his  brow. 
The  engineer,  with  a  determined  look  in  his 
eye,  pulled  the  reverse  lever  up  one  notch, 
and  then  shook  the  sand  rod  a  time  or  two, 
and  pulled  the  throttle  wide  open,  and  the 
little  engine  waltzed  around  a  lick  or  two, 
and  then  got  up  her  speed  and  rushed  right 
in  and  beat  the  race,  and  I  said,  "  Go  it,  go 
it.  I  don't  mind  being  beaten  by  a  thing  that 
can  run  like  that."     It  was  great. 

But  my  mind  looks  outward  and  upward 
into  the  future,  and  some  day  I  would  love 
to  stand  on  some  hilltop  of  heaven  and  see 
every  church  of  God  like  a  mighty  engine 
out  on  parallel  tracks,  loaded  down  with 
immortal  men,  pulling  for  the  Pearly  Gates. 
The  old  Methodist,  Presbyterian,  Episco- 
palian, Congregationalist,  Cumberland,  Lu- 
theran, and  Catholic  engines,  each  trying  to 
beat  the  other  with  their  freighted  tons. 
This  will  be  a  sight  on  which  I  would  like 
to  look. 

The  old  Methodist  engine,  the  Presby- 
terian   engine,   the  Episcopal   engine,   the 


GET  THERE  AND  STAY  THERE    127 

Congregational  engine,  the  Catholic  en- 
gine, the  Lutheran  engine,  and  the  Cumber- 
land engine,  with  their  freighted  tons  of 
immortal  souls,  each  trying  to  beat  the 
other  to  the  Pearly  Gates,  and  then  look 
down  on  the  river  and  see  the  old  Baptists 
and  Campbellites  steamboats  come  down 
the  river  as  fast  as  their  machinery  can 
move  them.  A  sight  like  that  would  glad- 
den the  eye  of  angels  and  make  all  heaven 
rejoice. 


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